#i'm so close to starting a pill habit

[tiddiesoutwhenthetisout]

can you tell i'm really enjoying writing this fic

it's for the next update (unreleaded). i'm writing this week's chapter, yes, bc i couldn't resist, was bored, needed an excuse not to sleep, after i said i'd let it sit for 1 more week considering i wrote enough for 3 last time lol. i've written 4 chapters so far. here's a link to the first one : )

[aayakashii]

I wrote this in like 2 hours so I apologize if it's bad but!!! I was struck with inspiration and had to write it + I am a sucker for fics abt dancing because I'm a dancer so ✋️ ANYWAYS

Pairing: Romeo Lucci x MC

Tags: PINING; romeo doesnt accept his feelings; gender neutral MC; the song that is mentioned in this fic is this one

the house never loses

The casino had closed for the night.

Fragments of life were scattered on the floor – pieces of glass, candy wrappers, dirtied pills, crushed beer cans.

Romeo curled his lips in disgust.

Everyone was distasteful. Brute, graceless little things that only served to be his source of income. Couldn't even clean up after themselves, the mindless sheep, blinded by the possibility of being rich quickly.

He wasnt really one to judge, but at least he was smart.

He knew he had to win. He had to be the dealer, the house, no matter the situation. He would never be the customer.

That was how things fall apart.

You lose control, someone else pull the strings of your life and then you trip – and fall. And lose, lose, lose. One bet after the other, golden coins falling through the cracks of the floor underneath you, forever out of reach.

No, he couldn't be anything else besides the dealer, he wouldn't allow otherwise. He had his family as a bitter example of steps he should not follow.

Still, under this position of power, he saw all the grimy beings that walked on this godforsaken place – traitors and hypocrites that tried to hide their greed behind a mask – and he hated them all.

"Dirty pricks that can't even pick up after themselves", he thought, kicking another empty beer can.

He wouldn't clean it, however. Obviously. He had his pawns to do that for him and today, specifically, he had the worthless honor student do that job for him.

He sighed, massaging his forehead to ease the wrinkle between his brows.

"Honor, my ass", he mumbled, remembering how they messed up yet another prototype order earlier that day, which landed them the merciless job of cleaning the casino after it was closed.

Romeo clicked his tongue, remembering the faces of the rest of the staff once they realized they would have a night off at the expense of someone else.

In the end, it was a dog eat dog situation. He wouldn't be surprised if people started sabotaging them just to get more days off. He put this sudden conclusion at the back of his mind, patting himself on the back for being so smart and way ahead of everyone around him. Then, he stepped on a cigarette butt and stained the burgundy carpet with its ashes.

"Where the fuck is that basic bitch?" he groaned, kicking the cigarette butt under one of the poker tables, maneuvering faster between all the stools, readying himself to give them the scolding of a lifetime.

He expects excellency from himself – it's only natural he expects the same from everyone around him, although this habit always seems to leave him disappointed.

Romeo's ears perked up as he stomped his way towards the back of the casino.

It housed the bar area, with a small stage for (now rare) jazz performances – after Sinostra was banned from leaving the campus, it also meant people from outside were also banned from coming in. Believe it or not, there aren't many jazz musicians among university students.

The bar stood behind matte glass doors that kept the sound muffled for those that wanted to drown their sorrows away after losing one too many games.

Romeo made his way to the entrance of the bar, as his ears picked up a few stray music notes coming from the inside of the place. He readied himself to scold whatever student was inside after closing hours – after all, if they wanted to use the space, then they should pay for it. It's only obvious.

He opened the door quietly, in order to catch them by surprise, squinting as he tried to assess who was inside despite the permanent mist of cigarette smoke that hung in the air.

The song came from a phone that stood on the bar counter, the words too jumbled and distorted by the busted speakers, but with a melancholy that touched him still.

He opened his mouth to call out whoever was inside, yet the words stuck on his tongue like cheap candy.

The first thing he saw were the arms.

The arms moved slowly, as if they were swimming in honey. Fingers grasped the thick air that surrounded them and seemed to mold it into a silk veil that surrounded their body.

Then, he saw the legs.

Softly, silently, they carried their body through slow twirls. They lifted one of them up, bare foot en pointe, landing it graciously to once again turn around themselves.

And finally, he saw their face.

Eyes half lidded in pure concentration, they saw nothing but the world they created for themselves as they danced.

The words died inside Romeo's mouth as he saw his worthless honor student dance to the song.

He gulped harshily as he watched them grab their own chest, suffering silently for some estranged lover they were probably seeing in their mind's eye as they danced.

Romeo felt his own heart race, his purple eyes going red and teary as he tried not to blink, so he wouldn't miss any moment. His stomach twisted inside out – or, at least, it was how he felt it – as he wondered if they were thinking of anyone specific while they looked so desperately in love.

His breath hitched at the thought and he discarded it in a pile of things he would rather not think about, on the corners of his mind.

They threw their arms out slowly, as if they wanted to hug the entire world – or fly away from it, only to lose it all while they bring their hands to their face, in theatrical despair.

Romeo wondered how it would feel to be the one in between their arms and loved so desperately, and the thought was too big, to persistent to be put aside.

His hands twitched as he tried to take a step inside and ask who was it that they thought of as they ran their hands on their lips and body, but as he heard the song grow into its highest peak, Romeo instinctively closed the door, before he could see whether or not that secret performance would have a happy ending or a sad one.

He rested his head against the glass, feeling the coolness of it spread on his flushed face.

Romeo put his hand against his heart, feeling the fast beats in contrast with the muffled and slow ending of the song inside, and breathed deeply, realizing he had been holding his breath like a predator does with a prey on the wild.

"Romeo?" their voice sounded shaky and scared, as if they had just been caught committing a crime. As if they were his prey.

Romeo cleared his throat and opened the door once again, this time fierce and quickly.

"Ah, there you are, you BB." they winced as he yelled the insulting abbreviation "I was looking for you. Didn't you see how dirty the casino is? You are supposed to clean everything, not just this place."

Romeo saw as they pursed their lips, looking down, an expression of annoyance and sadness making itself clear on their face.

"I- I know. I was just finishing here." They lied, dejected.

"Well. I expect this place to be spotless by tomorrow. I don't care if you need to spend all night here. Just do your job!"

"Yes, Romeo." they sighed loudly, picking up a broom, and then walked briskly past him, frustratingly avoiding him as much as possible.

Deep inside, however, he knew he couldn't possibly blame them. Not with the venom he spits on their face at every single encounter.

Romeo kept looking inside of the room, staring at the phone they left on the bar counter, consciously refusing to observe them as they walked somewhere else inside the casino.

He refused to look at them as they moved graciously between the tables; refused to think about the faint scent of vanilla mixed with cigarette and sweat on their body; refused to acknowledge his racing heart; and refused to look them in their eyes for too long.

Romeo refused to lose control of his own strings.

After all, he was the dealer, he was the house.

He wasn't supposed to lose.

[echojulietfoxtrot]

Okay, everyone's had a few days to be sad. But the world didn't end, so there is stuff to be done. Mid terms are in 2 years.

This post isn't going to tell you anything other people haven't done better or in more detail, and I'm not even American, so what the fuck are you listening to me for, but I think it might be useful to somebody as a place to start, and I think it's useful to keep in mind that none of us are helpless - no matter how much it might benefit somebody else to let you think so.

I'll add to it as and when I can.

NOW

Check your ballot. Tell everyone you know to check on their ballots. Spread the word to everyone you can possibly tell to check their ballots. The Presidential election is absolutely not going to be reversed, but local races and initiatives can be decided by twenty, a dozen, two votes. The window's closing on this by now, so check into this immediately if you haven't already. And if there is any possibility for a recount where it might achieve something, make noise for one.

You would be absolutely amazed how much harm can be spared and how much good can be done at the Parks & Rec level, no matter what's happening up top. Do not waste the chance to make friction for bad guys later on, or lay down some tools for the good guys in advance.

Then, if you have a Dem Senator, call their office and urge them to confirm all Biden's judicial nominees now, right now, ASAP. Here's a rough call script.

Btw mid terms are in two years.

NEXT

Spend the next two months -

Buying a little extra boring ass shelf stable food and water on your grocery runs, and build up as much food security as you can. You're probably not gonna need it, but it's good to have, even only as a hedge against inflation or unreliable weather/disaster relief responses.

Stock up on medication you might need if you can. Organize whatever procedures you might need done if you can, including contraceptive measures. And find a reason to need a Morning After Pill or two in the next few weeks, somebody you care about might be real glad you did.

Consider making any big ticket purchases that will be affected by proposed tariffs (electronics etc), or any... slightly less conventional things you want to buy, now - but otherwise it would be a good time to lay some money aside if you can.

Get in the habit of paying for things in cash, and limiting how much information on your habits are out there. Stash a little cash somewhere, for if you want to buy something less visibly in future, too.

Do your homework about your digital footprint. Accounts, posts, doxxable clues, data, behavioral info, browsers, wifi links, cookies, consumer history, always-on "Smart" speakers and devices, think about all of it. Your phone is telling everyone where you are at all times whether the Location stuff is on or not - get in the habit of leaving it at home, so that suddenly not having it is not, in itself, a sign of anything. Your fitness wearables are mapping your entire lifestyle - it is effectively recording where you work, what time you finish, what routes you take, what stores you go to, where your friends live, where you go for recreation, where your family lives and what your relationship is like with them (where's your fitbit at Thanksgiving, Christmas etc?). Don't use fingerprint or facial recognition for anything, ever, if you can help it - apart from cataloguing your biometrics, it is much easier for a third party, police included, to use these to access your stuff than a password. It probably goes without saying, do not digitally document your menstrual cycle in any way.

Figure out what channels you can use in future to retain access to as much as possible if someone decides you shouldn't have it, or wants to know if you look for it. VPNs are a starting point, but not the end point. Do your homework on this now, before you need to know it.

Look into securing documentation that might be of use in future, this includes property, legal stuff like Power of Attorney, passports etc. (Though that doesn't necessarily mean carrying it at all times to everything, just sayin'.)

What's your ACA status? Are you currently availing of absolutely everything you're currently entitled to? If not, work on it. Government resources are always harder to take away from you once you're getting them than to deny you outright.

If there's any gay shit you like or want preserved, it would be a good time to buy/download/back it up. This includes movies, fics, books. It would also be a good time to seek out and subscribe to independent and non-digital gay media, zines, etc, and get to know your in-person scenes. You might be surprised how much stuff still exists and happens in ways that are invisible to the internet, gay and otherwise.

Don't forget that mid terms are in 2 years.

THEN

The mid terms are in 2 years.

Mid terms are 2 years away. Which means the campaigns for them start in a year, which means the work for them starts now.

All else aside, Democrat flips elsewhere in the government structure at that point would make it way, way harder for them to keep smashing everything, and there is work that you can do towards making that happen. For better and sometimes worse, the American political system is a very big and very awkward machine, and King Dipshit and his cronies cannot wave a magic wand to get their way everywhere all the time as a result. Look into your immediate local political scene, and figure out what you can do for it.

You might be getting sick of everyone talking about "building community". What this usually means in practice is firstly, seeking out local or neighboring orgs and groups that are doing what you want done, and joining them; or else, starting them yourself.

That might sound daunting, but it's not hard to start an interest group, just very annoying early on. You'll have to do a lot more printing than you might expect. You're going to have to deal with some deeply irritating people who are, nonetheless, very good at getting good shit done, and you're going to have to learn that's a You problem to deal with.

I'm involved in a couple of local groups in my country and it is WILD how much even one person can get done purely because nobody else gives enough of a shit about boring small potatoes stuff to notice or oppose it. That can be a blessing and a curse, so make it the first one.

Apart from this stuff being generally good, it will stop you losing your fucking mind. No, you're not going to community garden your way out of this one, sure, but that community garden might stop you letting the bullshit beat you into the ground before you can do something more important down the line. And it might introduce you to the girl who knows somebody with the thing that can do the shit you need around then too; it might teach you a lot of practical and psychological stuff you'll be glad of sometime.

It might even teach you how to get much more important things done in your local political infrastructure, who is on your side, who isn't, how to get the best from either - some of the most valuable shit I've learned about my little universe was picked up in the course of volunteering for a haunted house.

I am as guilty as everyone else as looking at the outlook and saying fuck it, bad guys won, but that is legitimately irrational no matter where you live. They never win, not outside of stories, because real life doesn't end like a story does. There is stuff to be done to make life more bearable than it would be otherwise, more bearable until it's possible to make it even better. There is so much stuff to get doing, instead of just feeling bad.

[noparadiseinthis]

This is the first time I've posted here and it's also the first time I've written in English. Bear with me, Grammarly helps, but it doesn't work miracles.

How I feel when I see you right in front of me

Spencer Reid/fem!reader

Warnings: mention of previous drug addiction, mention of suicidal thoughts, mention of the reader's mother's cancer (sorry, it's for the plot), angst (I think)

Summary: Spencer has a new girlfriend. You're everything he could wish for. Unfortunately, you doesn't know about his previous "habit" and leaves something in plain sight. Is Spencer strong enough?

Words: 614

For Spencer, you're more than he deserves at any time in his life, but especially at times like this. Staring at the small tablet in front of him, Spencer knows he should have told you when things started to get serious, but he couldn't. He couldn't see the look in your eyes. He couldn't see the look in your eyes. He couldn't see the look of disappointment on your face when you found out you were seeing an addict - a former addict.

At least that would have avoided the situation. When you told him you'd buy your mother's medication and leave it at his house until you picked it up later, he didn't take much notice. He didn't think to ask what medicine she was taking. It seemed so obvious now. What else could a woman with cancer be prescribed?

Now Spencer looked at the morphine tablets as if they were his salvation or his worst enemy. Remembered all too well the feeling, the lethargy, the anxiety that itched under his skin when the effect wore off and he had to inject again. Morphine and Dilaudid weren't exactly the same thing, but they were close enough for her mind to flood with memories. For his skin to itch again. His arm was red and scratched, with perfect marks from the path his nails had traveled.

It's been so hard, Spence, you cried into his chest one night. Caring for a sick mother was enough to bring anyone down, he knew that more than anyone, which was why he resisted that tug on his flesh that led him to pick up a tablet. Just one, she won't notice. You didn't need him to become a burden in your life. You deserved someone better, someone worthy. Someone who didn't look at your mother's medicines as if they were a feast.

Getting sober was a long and arduous process, which he thought about interrupting several times. Now and then, when it got too hard, he thought about stopping something else too. His life. He never wanted to enter that spiral again. He couldn't throw it all away.

Spencer couldn't do many things, but it was still so easy. Reach out, take one of them, and put it in. Would such a small dose still have an effect after so long? Maybe he could try.

He grabbed his hair, forcing himself to think of you, of your proud smile every time he started telling you random facts about the least interesting subjects, but you listened anyway, with love in your eyes. A love he didn't deserve.

Sitting on the sofa, Spencer's hands drummed on his thighs. He didn't even blink anymore, staring at the morphine in front of him. The moment his fingers moved of their own accord, testing the texture of the table next to his enemy of the moment, the door to the living room opened.

"Spence, are you home? I've come for the medicine"

He had never felt so relieved to hear your voice, and immediately withdrew his hand, still horrified at the fact that he had almost reached her. Almost destroyed everything.

When you approached him, Spencer forced himself to form the most genuine smile he could manage, hugging you tightly.

"I love you," he whispered against your temple.

I love you and I'm not strong enough. Over his shoulder, Spencer was still looking at the pills. Wondering if he'd be able to hold back next time. Wondering what you'd say if you knew.

"I love you too," you said when you came out of his embrace, smiling fondly as you held your boyfriend's face in your hands.

That didn't help him.

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

Genuine question, how does one deal with someone being so insistent on their lack of (self-)worth? Not to vent too much, but I grew up with someone who was at least as bad, if not worse than Ragatha. I developed similar habits (this comic is a painful reminder of that) and my friends also tend to struggle with these feelings. But I never know how to deal with these issues, and it just leaves me feeling helpless.

I believe you‘re not a psychologist and it‘s fine if you don‘t want to answer this. But if you do have some advice or resources on this topic, I‘d love to know about it.

hi !

you're right , i am Not a psychologist ! my only credential is pretty much having it as my special interest of many years , so ... ! obligatory ' take this with a grain of salt ' disclaimer

i'm only answering this ask because i do like talking about these kinds of stuff ( in fact i'm in the middle of writing another psychology infographic with ragatha because of Course i am , ) and it's Relevant right now ... but for the most part i am literally just a stranger on the internet and thus i'll only be giving out general advice !! any specifics of the situation are stuff you'll need to figure out yourself

number one thing is that you should Always Take Care Of Yourself . it may be hard to admit , but these types of people can actually be Emotionally Draining - and i'm saying that as someone who had to deal with those people myself . and well you don't want to accidentally say things that make them feel worse

second thing is that a lot of it is ... really the other person's effort . all you can do is be supportive and gently encourage them . what took me so long to accept is that no amount of words or compliments will lift someone's self-esteem up - while it helps , it really has to come from Within , and that's something that'll take months or Years to build up . you can't force someone to start loving themself - and that's a hard pill to swallow

and the third thing is that ... well . there's a possibility that it could be a symptom of a mental disorder and thus you should encourage them to seek professional help . i am aware that the option is not available for everyone though , but i think recognizing that it might be a mental problem might take the burden off of you a little - as they're not really things a non-professional should handle .

as for resources , this article was extensive about this topic , including recognizing where the low self-esteem comes from , what Not to say to someone with low self-esteem , and tips that'll help the person ! very wonderful to read .

this article is for partners but i think it applies to people you're close with in general . what i like about it is how it Encourages open communication and listening . something you'll realize is that it's Different for everybody and it's good to learn more about the problem than jumping to a hasty solution or making assumptions . also it encourages them to talk more about their Feelings and talking about your feelings is what Very Cool And Hot People Do !

oh God sorry for the long post this should be enough to give me a diagnosis -

[inksoakedparchment]

Your best friend’s boyfriend

pairing: sebastin stan x fem!reader

genre: fluff x smut x angst

trope: strangers to lovers to forbidden love

word cunt: 1492

tw: smut, alcohol, drugs, my english

summary: you are the barista and you ask for his number, then that night you two accidentally meet in a club

a/n: i’ve been in love with him for years now so i decided to write a one shot about him

dividers by @adornedwithlight

The little bell above the coffee shop’s door starts to tinkle, which means a new customer arrives.

“Afternoon! I would like a black coffee, no sugar,” he says and you look up. Your jaw almost drops when you look in his bright blue eyes. This stranger is absolutely handsome.

“Excuse me, can you repeat your order?” you clear your throat.

“Black coffee, no sugar and takeaway,” he grins and you nod, then quickly make the coffee for him.

“Here you are,” you smile at him. “And my number,” you give him a little note with your number on it.

“Thank you…” he leans closer and reads your nameplate. “Ah, thank you, Y/N,” he smiles.

As he waves goodbye and exits the shop, you feel like he has cast a spell on you. Your mind becomes fixated only on him, making it impossible to think of anything else.

At night, you go to a club to let the stress out. You drink a lot and smoke weed - it’s not a habit of yours only smoke weed at parties - and you bump into someone and spill your drink on his shirt.

“I’m so sorr-,” you look up, your words stuck in your throat.

“Hey there, Y/N,” he grins. “I’m Sebastian by the way,” he takes your hand and gives it a kiss.

“Your shirt,” you swallow and take a puff from your joint.

“Don’t worry about it, doll,” he smirks, taking your cig out of your hand and starts smoking it.

“Doll?” you raise your eyebrow. You feel the alcohol and weed's effect on you. Your gates are down.

“You’re like a doll, and I wanna play with this doll,” he leans closer and blows the smoke into your face. He lets the stub fall and steps on it.

You reach for the collar of his shirt and pull him closer. You press your lips on his, and this smooch quickly turns into a heated make-out session. His grip tightens on your hips as you bite his lower lip gently.

“I have a clean shirt in my car,” he looks into your eyes with pure desire.

“Lead the way,” you take his hand and he pulls you out of the club to his car. He opens the Jeep’s back door for you and you climb in.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he groans as he shut the door behind himself.

Sebastian rolls your dress up and leans to your lips. He’s about to kiss you while his fingers slide in your wet pussy. You gasp and your head falls back.

“You’re so wet for me, doll,” he groans and starts fingering you like he’s fuckin’ Quicksilver.

“Seb, I'm so close,” you moan loudly.

“You’re not cumming yet, doll. When I give you the permission, you can,” he unbuckles his belt, unzips the zipper and pushes down his pants too.

“I’m on pills,” you lick your lips when you see his size. Thick and big. Perfect.

He towers over you and kisses you while he’s positioning himself. Without warning, he enters your pussy hard and leans his hand on the window as he’s fucking you mercilessly. The desire and lust in each other's eyes is something that nobody can take away.

You feel your orgasm reach you and you’re tightening around him. He groans your name while he also explodes.

“That was…” you pant into his mouth.

“Majestic, like you,” Sebastian nudges your face with his nose, then kisses you.

“Yeah,” you adjust your thongs and dress, he pulls his pants and trousers up. “It was the best fuck I’ve ever had, but I have to go now,” you smile at him and after the last kiss, you leave.

He climbs forward to the driver's seat and then goes home too. Sebastian can’t stop thinking about you and he feels guilty after the alcohol and weed left his mind. He cheated on his girlfriend. With you.

After a week the night is finally here. Your best friend, Alyssa introduces her boyfriend to you tonight. You meet them in a restaurant and when you sit down across them… you almost fall from the chair. Sebastian is holding your best friend’s hand and his face shows how shocked he is.

“Sebastian, she’s my best friend Y/N and Y/N, he’s my boyfriend,” she smiles.

You stare at him, like you see a ghost, and feel like a very shit friend. But you didn’t know he has a girlfriend and that gf is your best friend.

His hand extends for a handshake, and you accept it. The handshake seemed to last a lifetime, each moment unfolding slowly. Finally, you release his hand.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” you swallow and walk to the hallway.

“What was that?” Alyssa looks after you.

“I don’t know. Want me to check her? Maybe she has a problem with me,” he sighs.

“Yeah, it’s a good idea. Thank you, sweetie,” his face almost runs to a grimace when he hears the nickname, but he just nods.

You’re trying to slow your breathing down but fail every time. His face, his touch and his dick still haunts you, but in a good way. It was the best sex in your entire life.

“Y/N!” you hear his voice and you turn to him.

“What the fuck, Sebastian?! You have a girlfriend and you cheated on her! How could you do it?” you yell at him quietly. (a/n: it’s possible)

“I was high and drunk and you’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen in my life,” he points at you.

“That’s not an excuse! You’re a fucking idiot, a prick and a huge d-”

“Shut the fuck up, please!” he cuts you off.

“Make me!” your blood is boiling now.

He looks at you with passion in his eyes and presses you to the wall, making you shut with his mouth. Your lips are fighting with each other but it feels like a dance to your tongues. He somehow quickly takes out his dick and rolls your dress up.

“Not wearing any underwear, doll? That’s really nasty, you little brat,” he whispers.

With a fast thrust, he enters your vagina and starts fucking you, like he wants to reach your heart, with his cock. You can’t hold your moans back. You’re just enjoying his body towering above you, your legs around his hips and his hand on your neck, choking you. After a few minutes, both of you reach your top and cum at the same time.

You two swiftly adjust your clothes and hair, and then he looks at you.

“It’s a very good way to shut you up, don’t you think?” he smiles softly.

“We can’t do this, Seb. I just stabbed Alyssa’s back with a samurai sword, not with a knife. And now we were totally sober,” I sigh with guilt in my eyes.

“We can’t stop what’s meant to be,” he walks you back to your table.

You sit down across them and you look at Alyssa, who checks you with a suspicious expression. She looks at Sebastian too and the realization hits her.

“Please tell me, I'm wrong. Please tell me you two didn’t have sex in these fifteen minutes,” she says holding back her tears.

“Alyssa, please,” you look at her with a scare in your eyes.

“Y/N! He’s my boyfriend and you just… you’re the worst friend, I’m sure,” she stands up to leave the restaurant.

“At the first time, I didn't know he had a girlfriend!” you try to defend yourself.

“First time?!” her jaw drops.

“Y/N, you’re just making it worse,” Seb buries his face into his hands.

“So he cheated on me twice?” Alyssa points at Sebastian and you nod.

“We were drunk and high…” you look away.

“Oh my god,” she shakes her head. “And this? You’re on heroin or what?”

“I don’t know, Alyssa, okay?” you wipe away your tears which roll down your face.

She scoffs and rushes out. You lost your best friend because of a man. It’s unbelievable. You look at Sebastian with hate in your eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that, doll. It was our mistake, not only mine,” he hums.

Your shoulders soften defeated. He’s right.

a year later

“Come here!” you shout from the kitchen.

“A moment!” he yells back and you smile. “Yes, doll?” Sebastian looks at you with big puppy eyes, curiosity in them.

“My parents want to meet you finally,” I smile happily. His eyes lighten up and he hugs you.

Maybe you lost Alyssa, it hurt a lot for months and still hurts you, but you got a boyfriend - who’s your fiancé now, a best friend, and a partner in crime and it makes sense to you. You have new friends, you have a bestie, Cass who has your back from the start and it matters. Not anything else now. You have a happy life with good people around you.

tag list: @sunkissedscribbles

comment if you want to be on my tag list<3

[estellan0vella]

Sunshine's Guide To Murder│Lee Minho

Chapter Six: Playing Baby Sitter SS: 11 (ignore time stamps and dates) Word Count: 2.4K Content Warnings: Drug Use, Drug Addiction, Discussion of disappearances and murder, brief mention of vomit,

Previous Next Masterlist

The street corner is enveloped in an eerie stillness, broken only by the distant murmur of late-night traffic and the occasional figure passing by. Minho stands there, a deep sigh escaping his lips as he adjusts the weight of Hayun in his arms.

She leans heavily against him, her senses clouded by a mixture of alcohol and drugs, rendering her unable to stand on her own. Her black mini skirt hikes up slightly, and her cropped top, barely reaching below her chest, provides little protection against the chill of the night air. Draped over her attire is an oversized Packers jacket, while her knee-high boots bear the marks of numerous stumbles on the uneven pavement.

Minho, clad in his trademark black leather jacket, with silver chains catching the light under the streetlamps, and torn black jeans, seems completely out of his element in the role of a babysitter. He steadies Hayun with one arm, while the other delves into her clutch. His fingers find a small orange pill bottle, and a wave of concern washes over him as he reads the label: Oxycodone.

"For fuck's sake," he mutters under his breath, slipping the bottle back into her bag before closing it up.

Hayun groans softly, her head lolling to the side as she tries to focus on something, anything, but her vision is swimming. Minho rolls his eyes, muttering, "I barely know you, and here I am playing babysitter for your high ass."

Just then, Chan's car pulls up to the curb, headlights cutting through the darkness. Minho sighs in relief as Chan hops out, looking between Minho and the practically unconscious Hayun with raised eyebrows. 

"Is this Hayun?" Chan asks, already moving to help.

Minho nods. "Yep. Help me get her in the backseat."

Together, they manoeuvre Hayun into the back of Chan's car, her limbs limp and uncooperative. Minho slides in next to her, cradling her head in his lap to keep her from flopping around too much. Chan hands him a plastic bag before getting back into the driver's seat.

"Just in case she throws up," Chan says, glancing at them through the rearview mirror as he starts the engine.

Minho nods, holding the bag with one hand and keeping a steadying hand on Hayun with the other. Her breathing is slow, her eyes half-open but unfocused.

"Jeongin was right in the group chat," Minho says after a moment of silence. "I found a bottle of oxy in her bag. It's prescribed to her, though."

Chan frowns, keeping his eyes on the road. "You think she's got someone to write her a fake prescription? The way Jeongin described it made it sound like she's not exactly getting them legally."

Minho sighs, looking down at Hayun's pale face. "Probably. Jeongin, Felix, and Jisung are still out because Hayun said she didn't want to see them yet. I'm going to take her back to their place and stay with her tonight. I don't know if Felix and Jisung know about her habit, but clearly Jeongin does."

Chan's knuckles tighten on the steering wheel as he navigates the quiet streets. "You sure she'll be okay? It's pretty heavy stuff she's on."

"Yeah," Minho replies, though he doesn't sound entirely sure. "I'll keep an eye on her. If anything seems off, I'll take her to the hospital."

They fall into silence again as Chan drives toward the house. When they arrive, Minho pulls out the key Jisung gave him through Hyunjin and unlocks the door while Chan carries Hayun inside. The house is quiet, eerily so, with only the soft buzz of electronics humming in the background. It feels strangely empty without the usual chaos of Felix, Jisung, and Jeongin filling the air with laughter or heated podcast debates.

The two of them head upstairs, Hayun's weight a burden Chan carries with ease. They push open the door to Hayun's room, and both of them stop for a moment, taking in their surroundings.

"Jesus Christ," Chan mutters under his breath, his eyes sweeping over the room. "She has a lot of books."

Bookshelves line the walls, stacked high with everything from thick psychology textbooks to crime novels, true crime memoirs, and random pieces of literature that look like they've been read and reread a hundred times.

"Yeah, she seems the type," Minho says, watching as Chan carefully places Hayun onto her bed, arranging the pillows so she's lying on her side in case she throws up during the night.

They both stand at the end of the bed for a moment, unsure of what to do next. Minho folds his arms, glancing down at Hayun's unconscious form. Her breathing has evened out, and she seems more or less settled, but he's still on edge.

Chan and Minho sit at the edge of Hayun's bed, both keeping a careful eye on her to make sure she stays on her side. The silence in the room feels thick, broken only by the soft sound of Hayun's slow, even breathing. Chan shifts slightly, glancing over at Minho.

"You don't have to stay, you know," Minho mutters, not taking his eyes off Hayun.

Chan leans back, shaking his head. "Two people are better than one, right? Besides..." He hesitates, then sighs. "Even though I don't know her, I'd spend the night worrying about her if I left. Not really my style to leave someone like this."

Minho lets out a small grunt of agreement, his eyes still fixed on Hayun. "Yeah... I get that."

There's a pause before Minho speaks again, voice quieter this time. "You know, you'd never be able to tell she was an oxy addict unless you caught her like I did. She hides it well."

Chan nods, glancing toward the stack of books on Hayun's bedside table. "Sometimes you can never tell with a person. I mean, look at her, Felix, and Jisung. Their whole brand is Three Sunshines—people see them as these happy, upbeat podcasters talking about murder like it's nothing. But there's always something more beneath the surface."

Minho's expression hardens slightly. "She's got demons, Chan."

"Don't we all?" Chan replies softly, leaning forward with a sigh.

Minho doesn't respond, his gaze flicking toward Hayun's desk. Something catches his eye—a stack of notebooks, their spines neatly arranged, diaries maybe. Without thinking, he stands up and walks over to them.

"What are you doing?" Chan asks, watching him carefully.

Minho fingers the spine of one of the notebooks before opening it, flipping through the pages. "When we talked to Lia about the night Yuna disappeared, she mentioned that Hayun vanished at the party. They didn't find her until the next morning, passed out."

"So?" Chan leans forward, suspicion creeping into his voice.

"So..." Minho continues, scanning the dates on the spines of the diaries. "They were at one of Song Mingi's parties. It's odd that no one could locate her that night, don't you think?"

Chan's eyes narrow. "You're going through her diary? That's a massive invasion of privacy, man."

"The night Yuna disappeared, no one could find Hayun until the next morning. I'm just making sure I'm not working with the person who killed Yuna. Or my sister."

Chan doesn't say anything for a moment, just watches Minho as he pulls out the diary from five years ago and flips to the entry around the time of Yuna's disappearance.

"Here it is," Minho mutters under his breath. His eyes scan the page quickly, and then they narrow as he reads the words aloud: "I wish I couldn't remember. I wish I had never met Shin Yuna or Song Mingi. I wish they both died."

Chan's eyes widen slightly, but he shakes his head. "She was fourteen, Minho. That sounds like teenage angst to me. Don't jump to conclusions."

"Maybe," Minho says, though his tone suggests he's not entirely convinced. He pulls out his phone and takes pictures of the pages, just in case.

Chan watches him with a frown. "Didn't Jeongin say she was scared of Mingi?"

"Yeah," Minho replies, his voice tense. "Any time he's mentioned, she shuts down. It's like a switch flips in her. She goes stiff, looks terrified. There's definitely something there."

Chan rubs the back of his neck, leaning back against the bedpost. "Me and Changbin asked around campus like we said we would. And you were right—there's something off about that guy. The women we talked to clammed up the second his name came up. They wouldn't say shit."

Minho nods grimly, placing the diary back on Hayun's desk. "Jeongin mentioned that when we go to talk to Mingi, Hayun won't come with us. She refused. Whatever happened between them, it's deep."

"That's what worries me," Chan says, his voice low. "There's gotta be a reason why the women on campus won't talk about him. That's not just a coincidence. He's dangerous. You can feel it."

Minho clenches his fists, his jaw tight. "We'll figure it out. Someone will talk. There's no way someone like Mingi operates without leaving cracks. We'll find out what the fuck he's hiding."

Chan leans forward again, glancing toward Hayun's unconscious form. "I just hope we're not too late, Minho. I mean, she's already—" He stops, nodding toward Hayun. "Look at her. She's on fucking oxy. Whatever happened five years ago, it's still eating her alive."

Minho sits back down at the foot of Hayun's bed, his gaze heavy as he watches her sleep off the effects of whatever cocktail of substances she'd taken. He lets out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. "I think I know where she's getting the drugs."

Chan's eyebrows raise as he leans forward slightly. "Yeji?"

Minho nods, a bitter edge to his voice. "Yeah, that's who Yuna used to get whatever pills she was on from. Chaeryeong told me back then. And Yeji hasn't exactly stopped, has she?"

Chan frowns, his expression darkening. "Hyunjin doesn't associate with her anymore, even though she's his cousin. He hates that she sells. Blames her for half the addicts on campus."

"He's not wrong," Minho mutters, eyes flicking back to Hayun. "She's probably the main supplier for students who are trying to deal with their shit."

Chan sighs, leaning back on his hands as he stares up at the ceiling. "Jeongin mentioned that Hayun only takes them when her anxiety gets bad. I guess if something terrible happened to her at a party, like we think, then going to an outside rave like the one you guys just came from would definitely trigger that anxiety to spike."

Minho looks at him, clearly confused. "Then why would she go in the first place? Why put herself in that situation?"

Chan shrugs, his face softening with a kind of understanding. "She's a university student. She's young, she wants to fit in. And when you find something that helps you cope, even if it's destructive, it's hard to let go of it. Her way of dealing with her anxiety is using those pills, even if it's fucked up."

Minho's jaw clenches at that, frustration boiling under the surface. "Mingi's connected to all this, Chan. I just know it. He was always glued to Yuna at parties because Lia rarely went. She only ever showed up when she took Jisung and Hayun with her. Chaeryeong told me that."

Chan leans forward, his brow furrowed in disbelief. "What the hell was Lia thinking, taking two fourteen-year-olds to those calamity parties? That's insane."

Minho shakes his head. "I don't know. I don't know any of them well enough to ask about it. I mean, I only met Hayun last month, and I've barely scraped the surface of what's going on with her."

Chan sighs again, rubbing his temples. "I've known Jisung since we were both ten, but Hayun never really hung around when Changbin and I were with him. From what Jisung told us, she's had a shitty life. Bounced around in the foster system. Her mom was in and out of her life—a heroin addict. Hayun never had it easy."

Minho's face softens for a second, understanding but not entirely surprised. "That explains... a lot."

"Yeah," Chan continues, "Jisung always looked out for her, but there's only so much he could do. She built her walls high. I'm sure there's a lot of shit she's never even told him."

Minho glances at Chan, his curiosity piqued. "What's the deal between you, Changbin, and Jisung? Changbin hates his guts, and I never got why."

Chan looks slightly uncomfortable but decides to explain anyway. "I don't have a problem with Jisung, personally. But Changbin? It's complicated. Just before we got signed with JYPE a few months ago, 2RACHA was supposed to be 3RACHA. Jisung was supposed to split his time between the podcast and recording albums with us. But out of nowhere, he quit. Dropped his music production minor and chose to focus solely on the podcast."

Minho's eyebrows furrow. "That's why Changbin's so pissed?"

Chan nods. "Yeah. Jisung helped us produce our first album—he gets royalties from it, and he's featured on a few songs. But Changbin felt betrayed because it had always been our dream to be a trio, signed to some big label. And right when that dream was about to come true, Jisung bailed. It hit Changbin harder than anyone expected."

Minho tilts his head slightly. "So, it wasn't just about the money or the music, then?"

"It was more about the betrayal. We'd been a team for so long, and for Changbin, it felt like Jisung walked out right when everything was falling into place," Chan explains. "But Jisung... well, he's always been unpredictable. And, to be fair, the podcast is massive now."

Minho stays silent for a moment, processing everything. He looks down at Hayun, who's still sleeping, and his mind races with a million questions. Between Mingi's looming presence in their investigation, Hayun's hidden past, and now the tangled relationships between his own friends and Jisung, it feels like everything is slowly unraveling.

"We're all wrapped up in something, aren't we?" Minho finally says, his voice low.

Chan lets out a dry laugh. "Yeah. Welcome to life, I guess. Everyone's got their shit to deal with."

Minho sighs. "I just hope we can figure this out before it gets worse. Whatever happened five years ago... it's not over."

Chan nods, his gaze fixed on Hayun. "No, it's not." He hesitates, then adds, "And I have a feeling when the truth comes out, it's going to wreck more than a few people."

Minho doesn't respond, but the knot in his stomach tells him Chan is probably right.

Taglist: @hityoulikebahng @drewsandsebastianswife @fackeraccount

[ranaissingle]

In My Mind

Masterlist Summary: Reader exists in the same circle as Austin and has been head over heels in love with him for years but she never speaks up over the course of their friendship until a new years party. Rating: T Word Count: 2.1 k ( I swear this was meant to be a short whip I have no idea what happened)

Warnings: Unrequited love lol (can you tell I'm feeling angsty?) A/N: Hey girlies, it's been a hot minute haha. School kinda got in the way and then I had to learn (for the zillionth time) that men ain't shit (besides our lord and savior Austin Butler of course). I quite literally have no inspiration so please do send me some requests. I'm thinking of doing another angst fic about Hanahaki disease... How do we feel?

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When Austin told you he had started dating Vanessa Hudgens you felt like you wanted to die. Yes. Die. The world seemed to close in on you as he continued explaining how they had met and how he had asked her out. Each word was another knife in your throat and every admission of his love for her tore your heart into smaller and smaller pieces.

But you sat there and listened. You listened as he detailed their first kiss, their first date, his confession, and hers to him. It took each ounce of self-control to not get up and scream. Scream at him for not knowing how you felt and scream for the heart that had broken.

But you kept your mouth shut. You helped Austin plan all the valentines day dates, the birthday trips, and each anniversary date. Every single thing he had done for her and every girl he had been with since had been painstakingly vetted by you. You were happy to help him, but the fact that all your preparations were for another girl was a hard pill to swallow.

Everything came to a head when he started dating Kaia Gerber. She was beautiful. in every way imaginable she was conventionally attractive. Her skinny legs, straight waist, and small hips made you want to collapse in on yourself. She was perfect in every way. She was everything you were not. Tall, skinny, and beautiful.

Austin was smitten. He had developed a habit of dating skinny models and he had yet to break it. You were anything but surprised when she caught his eye when he asked you if you had her number, when he took her out for the first date, and then eventually when they started dating. It was routine for you now.

He would meet a girl, become infatuated, date her, dump her, then move on to the next one.

But at least you stayed constant. You had been constant for well over a decade at this point. That was more than any of the other girls could say. So you were content, until the New Year's of 2022. It was December 31st, 2022 and Austin had just broken up with his latest fling and had elected to spend New Year's as a free agent. You had never really had a date on new years because your previous relationships always ended before the fateful day or started after. You had grown accustomed to accompanying the same leather chair in the corner of your living room while you watched your friends with their respective partners mingle about your house. You sipped champagne as you watched couples drunkenly sway together as the countdown began to draw dangerously close to midnight.

1 hour to midnight

You spotted Austin out of the corner of your eye and you felt the iciness in your heart melt when he smiled at the people he spoke to. He was in the middle of a group of 4 other people yet still looked ethereal. His hair shone under the kitchen light and the crinkles around his eyes made you want to run your fingers over them.

You watched him. You watched how his lips moved. You traced his figure with your eyes until you reached his hands. His fingers picked at the cuticles of his nails. It was his nervous habit. He always resorted to picking at his cuticles whenever he was around people he didn't know well. It had led to many last-minute manicures before photoshoots to help deal with the redness it left.

30 minutes to midnight

You slowly pushed yourself off the comfortable chaise and made your way over to him. Maybe if you were with him he would feel so nervous, and it could save you from a last-minute call to the nail salon where you had to beg for an opening. You slid in next to him and smiled at the people around him. They barely looked away from Austin to greet you, but you were fine with that. Austin was the star, not you. You slipped your hands in his hand and tugged it behind your back to keep it out of view from those around you.

Austin thrived off of physical touch. He needed it like the air he breathed. Whenever he was feeling nervous or overwhelmed being enveloped in a hug from you or even just having your hand in his was enough to calm the nerves and allow him to breathe. Austin looked down to where you were pressed into his side.

You knew him so well that even from across the room you knew he needed grounding. His chest swelled with pride for a reason he couldn't quite pinpoint. His conversation with those around him continued without a hitch and when the countdown started to broadcast on the TV, they all made their way to their respective partners leaving you and Austin alone at the kitchen island.

15 minutes to midnight

You kept Austin's hand clasped in yours as the countdown numbers descended. Neither of you planned on moving or letting go. The warmth of his hand reached places all over your body and practically heated you up from the inside.

7 minutes to midnight

Austin leaned his head down to whisper into your ear, "If I didn't know you better I'd say that you end up single on New Year's on purpose." You heard the smile in his voice.

"Do you?"

His brown furrowed together, "Do I what?"

You matched him with a grin of your own.

"Know me better." The half tilt of your head made his stomach churn.

His laugh was smooth and boisterous. He brought his other arm around your shoulder to bring you closer to his side. Your heart slowed as you relaxed into him and abandoned your unnecessarily alcoholic drink on the kitchen counter.

5 minutes to midnight

"Hey." Austin's voice cut into the still air of the room. His eyes were trained on the TV and you looked up at his jaw as you waited for him to finish his sentence.

"Do you… do you wish you had a date? For New Year that is." The question caught you off guard and you twitched as you pressed into his side.

"uhm, I-I. I gues-" You stuttered when you couldn't seem to form a cohesive response. Your heart started to accelerate again and your breaths came out in short pants.

You took a deep breath to steady yourself once more to better be able to form a cohesive sentence.

"Well, I guess no one wants to be alone on New years. But that is just how it always seems to happen." You paused a sudden feeling of bravery came over you. The most likely culprit of such a feeling being the alcohol.

"And the person I would like to be with is almost always in a relationship during the New Year." You focused your gaze on the suddenly very interesting kitchen tiles. You had previously told Austin about someone that you had a crush on for years. You had tried to keep it yourself but Austin tended to pry when it came to matters of love but as much as he tried to wrangle the information out of you about who it was, you had kept tight-lipped and unwavering in your resistance to respond.

"Oh?" His eyebrow quirked up as he looked away. It seems he had also taken a sudden interest in the wall decor you had across the room.

"Is this the same guy you've told me about before?" His voice was deep and his throat bobbed as he spoke.

"Yes, it is actually. The very same."

"Haven't you been into this guy for years Y/N?"

"Yes, I have."

"And you are still into him? Why? He is the stupidest man in the world if he hasn't noticed by now." His chuckle was low but you could tell he didn't actually find it remotely funny.

You looked up at him and wished that he would understand from your eyes that you were talking about him, that you were in love with him.

But you had been in love with him for nigh over 10 years and the dolt had yet to come to any significant realization regarding your feelings so there was no use hoping for something like that now.

"Well, I would stop loving him if I could, but as soon as I feel like I can get over him, he does something that has been crawling back." You shrugged lightly and took another sip of your drink before placing it back on the counter.

3 minutes to midnight

"And it doesn't help that he is my best friend." You were skirting around the dangerous territory with that statement. You knew you were. But you were so tired that all the previous reservations and rules you had so painstakingly followed, disappeared.

Austin's eyes widened in confusion.

"Best friend? You have another best friend?" Austin was too slow for his own good.

You shrugged before replying, "Nope, I only have one best friend."

He let out an exasperated sigh

"So I'm not your best friend?!" Your eye twitched.

"No Austin. You are my only best friend."

"So who are you in love with?" Your fingers twitched. You were going to strangle him.

"I am in love with my one and only best friend."

Silence

Austin tensed next to you and you awaited the sting of his rejection that you had spent the better part of the last 10 years preparing for.

2 minutes to midnight

The silences echoed in the room despite the growing cheers of those around you. The timer was steadily counting down the seconds and you wanted to vomit.

The bile rose in your throat when the counter reached 30 seconds. Awaiting his rejection was arguably worse than the rejection itself.

10

9

8

You pushed away from him. His previously comforting warmth had twisted something in your gut and now you wanted to vomit.

6

5

His hand traced your back as you slid away before it fell back to his side. He stuttered out a "W-wait."

But you didn't want to

3 Austin yanked you back until your face was back in his chest and his arm was around your waist. He moved his head into your neck and pushed his nose into your hair before taking a deep breath.

2 Your breath caught when he pulled your head away from him to look into your eyes. 1 He kissed you. He kissed so hard you could have sworn you had fireworks behind your eyes. His hands were everywhere. Crossing your neck, cupping your hips, and splaying across your back. He kissed you until neither of you could breathe anymore. You wrenched away from each other and gulped down large breaths of fresh air.

His hand shakily pressed against your cheek and you looked up to meet his eyes. You didn't want this to be something that only happened because it was the heat of the moment. You wanted it to mean something to him. You wanted him to love you the same way you had for years. You didn't want this to be mean nothin-

"I love you." You had the timbre of his voice memorized. You knew it was Austin speaking but you still looked around you dreading the possibility of him not speaking to you.

But your face was still cupped in between his hands and his eyes were on you.

your eyes were wide as you looked at him You felt stinging and then a prick of tears in your eyes. They fell slowly down your cheeks one by one and Austin kissed each of them away.

All at once you need him on you all over again. You had gone years without so much as a kiss on the cheek from him and you would be damned if you continued in that fashion.

So you pulled his lips hard against you and kissed him until your lips were numb and swollen, and even then you didn't want him off of you.

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well, this was probably shitty so forgive me. It has been a while since I posted so figured I needed to back in the groove of things haha. I think I might do a professor x university student Austin fic next so watch out for that lol.

[crystalsnow95z]

This was a request for Jimin to have a sneezy allergic reaction that turned into a cold that he tried to cover up, but the original question post won't let me save any edits 😔

I’m so sorry it took so long..I kept rewriting it because it just seemed awful to me and it got to the point where I pulled out my laptop so I could freely move paragraphs and delete scenes more easily. I'm sorry if in the process it got messed up, I'm going to edit it after posting because if i don't, it'll never leave my drafts.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Taehyung asks Jimin for the fourth time since they started their journey to their next filming location.

"Yes Taehyung-Ah, I'll be fine. I spoke to a doctor about it and got a special medication and air filtering mask to use when we aren't filming. I can handle a few cats.." Jimin speaks confidently, reaching over to take Taehyung's hand. "Will you be okay with how humid it's going to be?"

"I'll be uncomfortable, but I'll be okay. I'll just be sure to drink a lot of water." Taehyung squeezes Jimin's hand. "Don't worry about me. Just worry about yourself."

"Alright, as long as you're sure. Oh! Jimin-ah the place we're staying has a pool so we can cool off after shooting, and staff say we'll be free to do whatever we want at night." Taehyung switches subject to a brighter one.

"A nice night swim sounds amazing.." Jungkook joins in with a yawn, lifting his head from Jimin's shoulder. "What time is it?"

"Ah youre awake Gukkie. Did you sleep well?" Jimin asks, trying to re-fluff Jungkook's hair from where he was lying on it, smiling fondly. "It looks like it.."

"Yeah...I was listening to that audiobook Namjoonie-hyung recommended but I ended up falling asleep." Jungkook says rubbing his eyes, checking the time on his phone. "Oh we're gonna be landing soon..our arrival time is 9:15, it's already nine! Did you take the medicine already Jimin-sii?"

"Aish..I almost forgot.. thanks Jungkook-ah.." Jimin digs in his carry-on bag, eyes widening when he realizes he had the wrong bottle in his hands. Sh*t.. I grabbed my usual allergy medicine out of habit instead of the new one I went to the doctor for..

"What's wrong Jimin-ah?" Taehyung asks, concerned when he sees Jimin's face fall into a frown. "Do you not have it?"

"No, no I have medicine..I just noticed I forgot something at home, but it's fine." Jimin takes one of the pills, swallowing it down with a grimace.

"Here, have some water Jiminie." Taehyung offers his water to Jimin a bottle of water. Who takes a drink.

"Thanks, Tete.." Jimin washed the pill down, passing it to Jungkook who was reaching with eager hands. I hope it'll be enough.. I don't want to be the one to ruin the music video. Maybe there won't be as many cats around...

"Oh wow..this place really does have as any many cats as it people here!" Jungkook exclaims, watching the cats wandering the market.

"There's actually more cats than people here.." Yoongi corrects him, stepping closer to Jimin. "I'm worried about it."

"Will you be okay Jiminie?" Hoseok asks sharing Yoongi's concern, looking at Jimin with uncertainty. "I didn't think wild cats would be this close to people."

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I took medicine earlier, I just have to be cautious and take breaks between filming with them…" Jimin says, trying to sound confident. One cat was okay, especially because cats normally stay for a few minutes and then leave, but he counted eight cats watching them with curiosity or fleeing out of sight as they went to the filming location.

"We'll try to film as quickly as possible." Namjoon felt uneasy filming here, feeling the same concern for Jimin. Still, the song was a collaboration with another artist to fundraise to help the animal population that plagued the small country, giving them more animals than they could take care of and the members couldn't turn it down.

"I can do this. I feel fine." Jimin promises to reassure his team, ensuring his mask completely covers his face, silently apologizing to the makeup artist who recently finished it for the shoot. "It's just a few days of being uncomfortable to help save hundreds of little lives."

"Just keep your hands clean as much as you can. We brought hand sanitizer." Yoongi tells Jimin, afraid that he might accidentally make his eyes red and puffy if he touched them after touching the felines.

"I know, I know. I'll be careful." Jimin felt a cat rub against his leg, looking down at the calico by his feet, resisting his urge to stroke her, bending down to take a closer look with his hands firmly in his pockets. "Oh wow.. you look a lot like the cat I filmed with in Serendipity.. but you have more orange patches.."

"We have work to do. Ignore the kitty, you can play with him later." Jin gently scolds him, not wanting him to take extra risks when they haven't even started filming.

"Calicos are usually female.." Jimin states with a small pout when the cat meows for attention, Yoongi bending down to pet the calico instead.

"Yoongi-yah don't encourage him.." Jin sighs, watching Yoongi scratch behind the calico's ear on Jimin's behalf, getting a smile out of the other members.

" Come on, Yoongi-hyung, you gotta leave the kitty too." He pulls Yoongi back to his feet, fighting off the urge to rub at his eyes. There's cat fur in the wind, I can feel my eyes watering every time a breeze rolls through

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Yoongi leaves his new furry friend, following them to a park they set up for the music video. "Maybe I'll adopt a cat from here one day.."

"Oh wow.. there are several cats here, too.. are they all tame?" Jin asks when he heard a hissing cat from near the fountain where they were going to be working.

"[Do they bite or scratch or are they like.. all friendly?Or is just certain ones?]" Namjoon asks for Jin, watching two cats fighting underneath the fountain.

"[They aren't all friendly because of some bad people making them lose trust, but none of them will attack you unless you corner them or if they are protecting their young. Just let them come to you instead of you approaching them, and you'll have no issues.]" The man explains to Namjoon in English. "[Those two won't hurt you. it's just mating time, and they have their eyes on the same female..]" The man shoos off the cats, the two males darting towards the treelines.

"They aren't really aggressive, some just don't trust people..if we let them come to us he says we'll be fine. It doesn't sound any different than normal neighborhood cats, just larger numbers." Namjoon explains to his members. "Still be careful.. Don't try to come to them let them come to you."

"[Is everyone ready then? No more questions? We need to film before the sun sets behind the mountains, and we lose the natural light.]" The director asks.

"[We're ready..]" Namjoon answers in English, gathering his team close together."we need to do our best. We're racing against time and we only have three days here.."

Jimin removes his face mask to start filming, giving it to a staff member to hold while they start the opening scene, the seven of them making a wish at the fountain on by one, surrounding it in a half circle. The shot was nearly perfect until it got to Jungkook, who threw the coin too hard, landing outside of the camera shot with a sploosh.

"Aish I'm sorry!" Jungkook apologizes, ears reddening in embarrassment to be the first member to make a mistake, his heart pounding in his ears. "[I'm sorry..]"

"It's okay, it could've happened to any of us. I'm surprised i did it correctly." Namjoon puts an arm around Jungkook. "We'll just film it again. No big deal, we have plenty of spare coins."

"I'll get it in the center frame this time." Jungkook pouts at the realization they don't speak Korean. "[Sorry..please..try again?]"

"[Its okay, you got this. Its just a bit of nerves Jungkook just be gentle. Just toss it in front of you so it falls nicely, don't throw it..]" The director tells him calmly, Jungkook nodding. "[Good.. let's start over.]"

The director wanted the scene to be a one shot, panning through each member so the members started from the top, Jimin fighting off the urge to sneeze until the director called cut, failing miserably.

"heh' hejish'Heh'vchi!" Jimin covers his face the sneeze escaping right when it was Jin's turn to drop his coin, making Jin jump. "Aish'm sorry hyung.."

"It's okay. Are you okay?" Jin didn't care about jumpscare, only about his little brother. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, something just tickled my nose. I can do this.." Jimin answers with a sniffle, staff quickly bringing him a tissue. "Let's try it once more. They do say third time is a charm right?" Jimin tries to keep a cheery attitude, despite the uncomfortable nasal pressure building up. He tries to blow his nose to ease it away, but it did nothing but ruin his make up, staff needing to touch it up once more.

"If you need a break, please don't hesistate to ask okay?" The woman fixing his make up tells him with concern, noticing how red his nose as already gotten in such a short time.

"We only just started. I'm okay, really." Jimin says with a gentle smile.

The members get through the first scene without any issues for the third take, Jimin sighing with relief when the looked over the footage, being sure his eyes weren't red on camera.. I look fine for now, but how long will it be before we have to stop filming because of me?

"Jimin-ah.." Yoongi gently nudges him when he notices Jimin wasn't paying attention. "He's talking to you..he wants you to do your up close shot first."

"['m sorry. Please say again.]"Jimin bows, blushing in embarrassment. How unprofessional.. spacing out like that in the middle of a shoot. I need to focus.. The longer we have to perform, the worse I'll feel... we just need to get through this.

Jimin was given a cat to be his filming partner for the shoot, gently stroking her glossy patch work coat to try to earn hers trust for the shot, smiling brightly when she headbutts his cheek. "[She's so soft and pretty.]"

"[Her name is maple. This is your cat in the storyline. She actually belongs to someone.. We specifically found a hypoallergenic cat for you just as requested.]" The animal handler tells him.

"[Thank you..I'm sorry for being trouble..]" Jimin bows gratefully, giving a sweet apologetic smile. They found me a special cat for close up shots?I didn't request that..I thought it was strange i didn't feel worse when Maple brushed my cheek. They're so kind..I can't back out over some sniffles..

"[Alright..put Maple into position in the light square and get into your position, you made a wish and a cat appeared. Act surprised and pick her up. They'll click the clicker to give Maple the sign to touch your face. We might have to do it a few times if her paw isn't in a good position.]"

A translator repeats it in Korean when she notices that he didn't process anything, explaining that they planned for Jimin to do his solo shots first.

"[I understand..]" Jimin places Maple down on the fountain ledge, taking a deep breath before walking out of frame, walking towards the calico. I can do this.. it's just three days..

Jimin tried to hold back a sneeze while the director gave them their directions for the second day, rubbing the tip of his nose to try to ease the itch building up. We did all the close up acting scenes yesterday, now we just have to do the chero and film the scenes with our guest. I can do this.. "Hehtichih!" Jimin tries to muffle his sneeze, only Taehyung hearing it.

"You okay?" Taehyung whispers with concern when he sees Jimin trying to wipe his nose without ruining his makeup. He removes his bandanna, using it to gently dab the mucus from Jimin's face.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine..It's a manageable inconvenience.." Jimin sniffles, giving him a smile. "Thanks Tete.."

"If this is too much for you, just say something okay?" Taehyung frets over him gently removing a white cat hair from Jimin's shoulder. "Your eyes are getting starting to get red and you're sneezing much more.."

"What? my eyes are red?" Jimin frowns, turning to the fountain to see his reflection. He saw the red lines spiking from his irises."It looks worse than it feels, im fine.. I have eye drops in my bag." Jimin lies. Why do I feel worse than yesterday? I even took as strong as a dosage as possible, and Taehyungie and Jungkook came here early to scare off some cats..

"I'll get them for you." Taehyung leaves, briskly walking to get to Jimin's bag, digging through it.

"What's the rush? Is Jimin okay?" Namjoon asks, pulling on his shirt for the second wardrobe change.

"I don't know..his eyes are so red right now and he seems to be getting out of breath quicker than usual.. do you think we should ask for a break? I tried to make it have less cats with Jungkookie, but they came back.."

"I'll ask, but we're racing a storm right now..the weather was supposed to be clear this week. We just need to do the choreography, and we'll be finished today.." Namjoon quickly finished changing to check on Jimin.

"Heh'itcgi!" Jimin sneezes into a tissue, blowing his nose and sanitizing his hands for the umpteenth time that day.

Taehyung trails behind him, his heart clenching when he hears another wet sneeze come from his soulmate. Jiminie will only keep feeling worse as the day continues.."Jimin-ah, I brought the eye drops. Here. Tilt your head. I'll help you put them in.."

"Thanks, Tete that'd be great.." Jimin let's Taehyung gently place his hand on the back of his head, trusting him to support him as he leans back. Another sneeze was building, but with Taehyung so close to him, he forced the sneeze back."heh..heh.."

"Do you need a second?" Taehyung asks when he hears Jimin's breath hitching, pulling his hands away. "It's okay if you need to sneeze."

"No..no I'm okay.." Jimin lies, not wanting to worry Taehyung more than he already is.

"Okay..one..two and.. one-two…" Taehyung squeezes the drops into Jimin's eyes. "There.. all done.. slowly.." he guides Jimin to sit up again, hugging him close. "I wish I could do more to help.. Namjoon is going to see if we can do a break for you.."

"No, no I just want to get it over with..we can have a break when it rains. We're on a time limit and I won't be able to rest stressing about it." Jimin holds back a sneeze, the pressure building up making his eyes water.

They get through the chorus, before the wind started to pick up, carrying cat fur with it, irritating Jimin's sinuses further. Jimin pushes through the itch building in his nostrils,making it difficult to not ruin the shot by changing his facial expression. The director calls cut, releasing the members to monitor the shot.

"Aish, I messed up the shot.." Jimin frowns when he sees his facial expression in the back when him, Jungkook and Hoseok were center. "[Please can we redo?]"

"I saw that too. We'll need another cut.." Namjoon says apologetically.

"Are you okay to do it again Jimin-ah?" Hoseok whispers when he hears Jimin's breath hitching, no longer interested in the choreography.

"I'm fine..I just..heh..Heh'hehitchi!" Jimin sneezes into his hands to avoid sneezing on Hoseok, another sneeze following right after. "Hehtichih! Heyitcyh! Heh..heh..uiyxheu!" He sniffles, not moving his hands from his face.

"Here Jimin-ah.." Taehyung holds a tissue box out to him"I think you need to sit away from the cats for a bit.."

Jimin pulls a couple out gratefully, trying to clean up his face. "Ugh.. this is so annoying.. I should be able to handle this better.. no.. "

"It's okay, Jiminie. we all have our strengths and weaknesses." Yoongi reassures Jimin, pushing his hair behind his ear. "Are you crying?" He asks with concern when he sees the tears in his eyes, grabbing a tissue to lightly dab them away, not wanting the chance of his hands making his allergies worse.

"No, no. I'm not, it's just from the sneezing. I'm okay hyung.." Jimin smiles, surprised to see Yoongi be the one to dry his eyes when Hoseok and Taehyung were right there. "Thank you.. I think..I'm okay now.."

"Are you sure?" Hoseok asks, hugging Jimin from behind. "You're still breathing heavy.."

"It's just because of my nose being stuffed up. I'll have enough of a break when they fix my makeup." Jimin sniffles, letting the make up noona redo his make up around his eyes and nose. "I'm sorry..but i.. ah..aeh'tichi!" Jimin sneezes. "Heh'heh..itsth! Heh' x'shiugh.." Jimin sneezes a few more times, closing his eyes tightly.

"It's okay. It's not your fault. I used something more waterproof this time. Come back to me so i can help you get it off okay?" She speaks kindly.

"Thank you." Jimin sniffles, returning to the group, taking a deep breath. "I'm okay now, let's go back to filming.. Maybe we should do the group acting scenes first.."

The seven go back to acting out their scenes taking a break from the chreography, Jimin grateful that he did all his close ups first. I have to get it right this time, the longer i stay out here the harder it'll be to control my sneezes and on top of it the clouds are getting darker..

Stress knotted Jimin's stomach, only adding another layer of discomfort to his list. He ignored the pain, going back into his position, holding his breath every time he was near the front, making him feel lightheaded as he switched positions.

"Cut!" The cameraman yells, the members relaxing. Jimin falls to his knees, trying to catch his breath,gasping for air.

Jungkook and Taehyung rush to his side, the two looking at him with matching concerned expressions. Taehyung gently rubs Jimin's back, trying to do something to ease his suffering. "You okay Jiminie? Is there anything I can do to help? Do you want some water? A tissue?"

Jimin wants to answer Taehyung. Wants to tell him he just needs to sit away from the island's feline friends for a bit, but the loathed feeling of needing to sneeze returned, unable to get any words out, sniffling to try to ease the pressure, only triggering more sneezes. "Heh'thchi! Hey'Heh'heyhvhi!"

"Jimin you're done for today, this is too much for you to handle. We need to stop for today.." Namjoon speaks sternly, Jimin shaking his head.

"No, please.. Namjoon-sii we're almost finished… I can do this." Jimin begs, clasping Namjoon's hands. "It's only going..to be another hour.. of filming. I'll rest after."

"Jimin, you're pushing youself too hard, you're shaky on your feet and you're struggling to breathe. You need to listen to your body. We can extend our trip if needed. You need rest.."

"Then just give me ten minutes to recover..Please?" Jimin begs, ignoring the urge to sneeze. "I don't want to..be the reason we don't finish on time.."

"Alright, but if you feel even an ounce worse, you have to tell me." Namjoon frowns, knowing full well Jimin would end up crying in the rental house. He's going to get worse either way, the storm will force him to stop soon enough..

The seven boys went through the cherography three times before they got a shot Jimin and the others were happy with. Relief washed over Jimin when the director praised them, him falling to his knees, struggling to catch his breath.

"I did it..We just need to do one wardorbe change and we'll be finished.." Jimin coughs, trying to catch his breath.

"I don't think we can do that Jiminie, the clouds are getting so dark.." Taehyung says looking up at the clouds, trying to hide his relieved smile that the weather was going to force Jimin to take a break. "We need to find-"

The clouds that threatened rain finally burst drowning out the rest of Taehyung's words, a heavy rainfall drenching the members as Jungkook quickly scoops up Jimin, running towards the safety of the rental car, the others following.

"Jungkook-ah… I..I can walk on eh..heh..heudhichi!" Jimin sneezes into Jungkook chest, not able to let go of Jungkook's neck to sneeze into his hands fast enough. "Heh'itchii!" Another one follows right after.

"My poor hyungie.." Jungkook coos, putting Jimin in the car, sliding in right after. "You okay Jiminie?"

Jimin tried to answer, but another few sneezes stopped him, sniffling miserbly. "Heh'thih..hEH'ITCHI.."

"I don't think we'll be able to film tomorrow, with it raining this hard the ground is going to turn to mud.." Namjoon says when he gets in, drying his face with a towel he left in the car earlier, and passing it to the member next to him.

"I think we got enough usable footage to make the music video still." The staff tells them, the boys visibly relaxing.

"What about filming for Samatha's verse?" Namjoon frets about their guest artist that was coming tomorrow. "Will she not be able to perform her verse with us?"

"We'll film it in an inside location, we'll see what type of set we can make. Don't worry, we'll handle it." Their manager tells them. "Just focus on resting for the rest of the day."

"Jimin you'll shower first when we get to the house okay?" Jin orders, trying to get Jimin's wet hair out of his eyes.

"You're the oldest, you should get the first shower." Jimin sniffles, trying to fight off another sneeze.

"No, Jimin-ah, you need it more than me. You'll feel better once you get washed up." Jin declined. "I'll shower after you. It's no big deal. Just shower and rest up. Okay?"

Jimin wakes up to the sound of Jungkook accidently rolling out of bed, his head pounding with a sinus headache. It hurt to open his eyes to find the source, calling to Jungkook softly. "Are you okay Kook-ah?" Jimin's eyes widen when he hears how hoarse his voice became overnight, coughing right after.

"Yeah, I'm okay..my pillow fell with me. Are you okay hyung? You sound awful."

"I need some water." Jimin ignores his question, sitting up, resisting the urge to sneeze. I haven't been outside and all the windows have been shut since we arrived, why do I feel so awful?

"I'll go get you some. Wait here." Jungkook stretches, getting off the floor and leaving to the kitchen.

Jimin reaches for a tissue, noticing the mucus coming from his nose was no longer clear and runny. It became thick yellow mucus, indicating it wasn't just allergies anymore. Jimin swears underneath his breath when he feels another sneeze coming,

"Jimin-sii I brought you-"

"Heh'heh itchisg!" Jimin sneezes into his hands.

"Bless you Jiminie hyung.." Jungkook hands him a tissue.

Jimin blows his nose again, crumbling up the tissue and taking the water from Jungkook. "Thanks Jaykay.. my nose is driving me crazy..I can't wait to get off this island."

"It's the last day of filming, will you be okay?" Jungkook asks. "You're breathing heavy.."

"My nose is just stuffy, I'm okay. We're filming inside today so it won't be too hard." Jimin down plays how he feels, leaving out the sore throat and pounding headache.

"I'll make you some tea. Maybe that can help you feel a bit better. Don't forget to take your medicine before we go out." Jungkook tells Jimin leaving the room.

Jimin waits until he feels Jungkook is out of earshot to cough into his arm, trying to muffle the sound.

We're filming with Samantha today.. I can't let a cold ruin this..

Jimin takes another allergy pill and a painkiller for his headache before joining the others, Jungkook handing him a tea cup.

"Here jimin-sil, drink up. I added a tiny bit of ice so you won't burn your tongue." Jungkook says, taking a sip just to be sure it was at a drinkable temperature.

"Thanks Jaykay.." Jimin smiles, taking a big gulp from the cup. Please, work to soothe my throat and stomach.. I have too much to do today..

"1,2,3..hello.. we are..BTS." Namjoon starts their greeting, the members echoing 'bts right after him.

"[Im Samantha. It's so nice to meet everyone in person. Thank you so much for agreeing to help my passion project, it means so much to me.]" Samatha bows.

Jimin tries to hold back another sneeze while the translator speaks, translating Samantha's heart felt wish to help the animals she loves so much, holding his breath with his eyes squeezes shut, the pressure becoming more uncomfortable as the members introduced themselves.

"Are you okay Jimin?" Taehyung whispers.

Jimin nods, not wanting to worry him. Before Taehyung could question him further, he hears Samantha say his name.

"[Is it okay if I call you Tae hyung and not V?]" Samatha asks shyly. "[Im not a fan of using stage names while working. It feels distancing..]

"[Ah. No problem... it's nice to meet you.]" Taehyung takes her out reached hands to shake them.

Samatha turns to Jimin giving him a cheery smile. "[Hi, it's really nice to-]"

Jimin opened his eyes to greet her, but as soon as he stopped concentrating on keeping his sneeze back, a wet sneeze escaped him. "Heh'hehitfchi!"

He tried to turn on his heels to avoid sneezing in Samantha's direction,but his body gave him no time to react.

"[Oh it's you that was allergic to cats. I'm so sorry about all this. I really wanted to feature the animals we were trying to save and didn't think to look up if any of you were allergic..]" Samatha bows the whole time she's talking, Jimin matching her bow for bow despite how it made his head pound.

"[No, no big deal..I'm okay.. I love cat..no bow, no worry.. no sorry needed.]" Jimin tries to speak English to her, relaxing when she stops apologizing.

"[We only have this natural light for so long so I'd like to film right away..]" the director pulls the artists back into work

"[Right. I'm sorry.. I just wanted us to be a bit more comfortable working together. I got the choreography for the chorus down, but I want to run through it with the boys once before filming..]"

Jimin only felt worse as the time passed, the medicine doing nothing to ease his pain. Jimin was happy that they were doing a quick photo shoot with the set staff made.

"Jiminie looks exhausted.." Hoseok frowns, watching Jimin pose for the camera, laying on his back. Hoseok rushes over to help him to as soon as the photographer was pleased with his work, feeling the back of Jimin's neck. "You're warm Jiminie."

"It's just hot with those ring lights. I'm okay.." jimin trying to convince both Hoseok and himself.

"I'll go get you some water then.." Hoseok goes to get a water bottle, his worry increasing when he hears another sneeze come from the oldest of the mankae line.

"[Bless you.]" Samatha says sincerely, bringing over a bottle. "[I thought this might help you. It's a tea that helps my boyfriend when he's super congested. It's a bit spicy..]"

Jimins mind blanked on processing most of what she said, only understanding the drink she passed to him was to help him feel better.

At this point, he was willing to try anything, almost spitting out the tea when the spice hits him, swallowing it down.

"[I know, the thyme and ginger makes it have a strong taste, but it's really good for you." Samatha stifled a laugh seeing Jimins reaction.

"[It's okay, thank you for making for me..]" jimin takes another drink, surprised to feel the mucus loosen, causing a wet sneeze. "Heh'hehi'Itchi!"

"Here, blow your nose Jiminie.. Jungkook just finished the last photo so we're going to film soon." Namjoon bows his head to Samatha. "[Sorry to interrupt..]"

"[No, no. You guys take your work seriously and i really admire that about him Many artists would straight up refuse to film if they don't feel well]" Samatha says looking at Jimin sympathetically as he goes away from everyone to try to clear his nose.

"[I'll tell him that for you. It'll make him happy.]" Namjoons smiles, calling the members back to work.

I can't breathe.. my lungs are burning...

Jimin stumbled into Jungkook, ruining the shot for the third time. "I'm sorry..I'm sorry. I'll get it right this time...i..I just stepped to..far.."

"Are you okay Hyung? You're panting.." jungkook puts his arms around Jimin, holding his weight.

"I..I just got a bit dizzy..I just need..need..Heh'hehitfchi!" Jimin sneezes without giving him time to cover, sneezing on Jungkook.

"Ah, jimin-sii.." Jungkookie frowns, using a towel to wash off the snot from his shirt the best he could. "I think you caught a cold.. i think we should take a break."

"No..no we're almost finished filming I'll rest after. Everyone is tired..the sooner we finish the sooner we can go home..." Jimin sniffles, taking the tissue staff offered him.

"[If you aren't feeling well you should rest. Don't push yourself. I'm really tired too. I'm not used to heavy choreography like this..]" Samatha takes a seat on the ground dramatically. "[I was afraid to ask for a break when you boys were so focused..]"

Jimin looks to the translator, who explains it to him. "She's only saying that for my sake.." he says with a smile. The seven boys join her on the floor, Jimin leaning on Jungkook.

"You're so heavy.." jungkook teases, his smile dropping when he hears Jimin coughing into his fist. "Hyung. Hyung do you need some water?" He asks with panic, taking the waterbottle that Jin pushes towards them.

"No..no.. I'll..I'll throw up if..if I do.." Jimin pushed the water Jungkook offered away, trying to talk through the fit of coughs.

Jungkook frowns, trying to ease Jimin's suffering by rubbing his back. "Poor hyung..you really aren't well.."

"[I think we're done shooting for today..we'll just use the footage we have. I don't care if I look good in the shots. Let's use the first take.]" Samatha says putting up a finger when the boys go to argue. "[No, no compromising. I don't care about how i look, as long as it helps the cats. Everyone else looked good. I can live with my face looking too serious.]"

"She says she doesn't want to do anymore takes.. she wants to use the first take.." Namjoon translates for his members. "We're finished filming.."

Jimin's stomach knots with guilt, knowing how disappointed she was with the first take, but if she refused to film another take, he was in no condition to argue. "[I'm sorry..]" Jimin bows his head, forcing himself not to cough so he could properly apologize. "[We can work together again.. and I'll be sure everyone looks perfect...]"

[doki-doki-imagines]

We all need Reo and Nagi in the form of animals-

Seishiro Nagi - Blue chow chow -You didn't expect to be woken up at 7 a.m. by a loud knocking at your door, so still grumpy you walk towards the sound to understand who dared to wake you up so early on your free day. -It is Reo, mask and gloves on and with a ball of blue fluff in his hands with his equally blue tongue sticking out. "Long story, this is Nagi, I'd take care of him but I'm allergic to dogs. Tomorrow everything should be fine-" the purple hair boy pushes the dog in your arms "take good care of him, we have a match soon" The door slammed at your face, stuck at your place with a ball of fluff in your hands. -Luckily Seishiro habits didn't change in his dog form, he slept, eat, sat on your lap, half of the morning was spent like that; rinse and repeat. -"Ohh look there is a new event! Can't wait to get the new characters." You smile at your phone. -What you didn't see was Seishiro raising his head from your lap, ears alert. -"Ehi ouch! Don't bite me- not even my hoodie, Seishiro!" He starts to pull on your clothes, your hoodie or your pants to make him follow towards…his phone in your bedroom? Did Seishiro forget it when he visited you yesterday? -"I have enough of my events I don't wanna-" He closes the door. You look down at him. "For once I'm way taller than you, you can't scare-" He barks. He dares to bark at you. He is more fur than voice and still dared to look dangerous to you. Your falls on your knees, a pain where your heart is placed; he is too cute for this world. -You end up doing his games till you pass out on the couch, being able to move just for snack and bathroom breaks was exhausting. -"(Y/n) is morning wake up, c'mon I can't reach my phone" It wasn't Seishiro's voice to wake you up, but his weight on your body, but you were too tired to pull him off even if your lungs screamed for a break. "Take your damn phone and let me sleep Seishiro" He doesn't reply, phone in his hand already checking his online ranking. "You made me lose an event" Your eyes open wide "What? I didn't even pee for your damn game-" You can't finish the phrase, his index finger pressed on your lips. "No excuses, time to be punished for your misdeeds." Your eyes would have come out in a typical cartoonish style. This egoist, always getting what he wanted, was a real villain even with fluffy blue ears on top of his cloud-white hair.

Mikage Reo - Red fox -It's Ba-ya that wakes you up, your phone loudly ringing, sun just rising. "(Y/n)-san, sorry to bother you early in the morning, but we have a problem." "A problem? Is Reo fine?" "More or less, but it's easier to explain if we came to your house, is it fine?" "No problem, see you here." -That's how you find yourself sitting on your couch with a red fox with some purple stripe resting on your lap -"Mikage corporation developed a new system so you'll understand what he is saying to you. I wouldn't have bothered, but the young master asked for your company." "Strange since yesterday he shouted at me something along the 'you are insufferable fuck off' lines" Ba-ya looks down, thinking the exact words to tell you next to sugar the pill. You scoff interrupting her train of thoughts "Don't worry, I'll take care of him". -He isn't as extrovert as usual, still knowing what happened the previous day was exaggerated, but after petting his thick fur for a while you got tired. "Wanna monetize this situation Reo?" His ears twitch, looking at you straight in the eyes. "What's your idea?" The voice is robotic and way too high, but you suppose that even Mikage corporation couldn't make a perfectly working translator. -The amount of photos you posted was disgusting but he was too cute to let this occasion go, keeping some of them for the months to come. -Reo obviously loved the idea, posing like a model, searching for the best angles that would make people scream "Cute~" all over the world. "Reo you are the cutest." "Like always, isn't it?" He says, pulling his head up, nose up in the air, you could imagine Reo would have even brushed off his hair in typical film style if he still had his hands.

-"Reo you are already a star, 16k likes in 3 hours better than when you are human." "Are you saying I'm cuter a fox?" "…" "Hey!" -Your mood improve drastically, who would have thought that your boyfriend turning into a fox was going to be this good? -You fall asleep next to each other on the sofa, his big tails tickling your chin. -"Hey, sleepy head I'm back to normal~" Your boyfriend, finally back to normal is laying on your chest, purple eyes sparkling, fox ears and tail still present, thick tail swinging back and forth. "Don't I look the best? Let's shoot some photos 'till I'm like this." He says phone already in his hand. "But later it is your turn to model for me, wanna grasp all your cuteness darling~"

[fortheloveofexy]

every single one of these wipes sound exciting, I'm having a hard time to choose which one to ask about! I think I'm gonna go with omegadrew, if you'd like

Andrew puts the lit cigarette to his lips and taps one of the scent blockers on Neil’s pretty neck. "Why do you wear these?" Neil shrugs, touching the clear plastic patch somewhat ruefully. "It's easier to stay under the radar this way. People remember how an alpha or an omega smelled. But a beta? Nobody even thinks to notice."  Andrew inhales nicotine and exhales smoke. "I noticed." Neil snorts, plucking the cigarette from Andrew’s fingertips. He holds it close to his face, but doesn’t take a drag. "You were looking a lot closer than most people." Andrew concedes to that with a nod. He pulls out a fresh stick from his pack and lights up. Neil might be content with the smell, but Andrew still needs his fix. "You're not on the run anymore." “No,” Neil agrees, "I’m not. Old habits die hard, I guess." They pass a few moments in peaceful silence, the space between them filled by the sound of cicadas and rustling leaves. "What did you do about ruts?" Andrew asks, "While you were on the run, I mean. How did you deal with them?" "I didn't," Neil answers. His cigarette is gone, but he’s still holding the spent filter, staring at it thoughtfully, "Mum put me on suppressants the moment I turned thirteen and presented. I didn't even get through my pre-rut before she shoved the pills down my throat."  Silently, Andrew adds another tally to the list of Mary Hatford’s sins. "Isn't it dangerous?" he asks, "Being on suppressants for that long?" Neil shrugs. "More dangerous to be sitting ducks in a hotel room for a week until the hormones fade." Andrew turns to look at him. Neil’s eyes are far away, his expression drawn and subdued. Andrew considers Neil’s frame, his height. He is unusually small and lithe for an alpha, as if the suppressants had stunted his growth. "You're still on them,�� he asks after a minute, “Aren't you?" Neil doesn't look at him. "It's more convenient this way." Andrew dismisses that with a roll of his eyes. "That's not why." "No, it's not," Neil replies, a growing edge to his voice. He levels Andrew with a sharp look, his chin lifted in challenge. "Going to interrogate me about it?" Fuck it. Neil can raise his hackles all he likes, but Andrew doesn’t back down easily. "Just wondering why you'd risk your health when you no longer need to,” he drawls, “You said so yourself; you're done running. So stop hiding." "And why should I?" Neil bites out, "My dad was an alpha too, remember?" He curses, scrubbing a hand down his face. "It's bad enough I look like him. I don't want to smell like him, act like him… become him."  Neil pauses. The look he flicks at Andrew is more fearful than angry, an animal cornered with no escape. "Besides,” he adds quietly, fixing his gaze on the ground, “You hate alphas." Anger tastes like ash in Andrew’s throat. He stubs out his cigarette and grabs Neil by the chin, forcing him to meet his eyes. "Listen to me," he commands, “I will only say this once. You are not your father. You think your piece of shit dad ever spent a second of his miserable life worrying about other people's comfort? Do you think he ever gave a shit about anyone but himself?" Neil stares at him in shock before shaking his head. “No, I-" “Exactly,” Andrew snaps, "You are not him because you are not capable of being him. Despite both of your parents' attempts to stamp out your desire for human connection, you love people. You care, in your own weird, fucked up kind of way. It's who you are." "I-" Neil starts to argue before seeming to think better of it, "Thank you." "Don't thank me,” Andrew says, releasing his chin, “Just stop being an idiot and get off those damn suppressants before they kill you." He pulls out another cigarette and pokes a harsh finger at Neil’s chest. "And don't you dare stay on them for my sake. Try to coddle me, and I'll kill you myself." Neil lets out a brittle laugh, and Andrew pretends not to notice when he wipes at his eyes. “I won’t,” he says finally, “I promise.”

[bontenten]

good girl

Pairing: Itoshi Sae x f!reader WC: 2k Tags/Warning: eating disorders, throw-up, yandere, manipulation, body-shaming, degradation, humiliation, drugs, pregnancy mention, eating disorders

a/n: read the tags, not my problem otherwise. :looksaway: anyways, fun fact, football/soccer is so insanely popular on instagram. ronaldo is the most followed account with 579M (the only individual to pass 500M, the other is the ig account), closely followed by messi with 457M. 2 football clubs and 2 other football athletes-ish are also on the top 50 list. i was genuinely amazed?

Happiness is sharing that meal with the man you love the most, global football star, Itoshi Sae. After so many years of hard work, Sae is finally the star mid-fielder for FC Barcha. He has so many commercial gigs, sponsorships, and invitations to special events and dinners. With Sae, you have tasted things beyond your wildest dreams. You cannot imagine a better version of your life than the one right now, next to him. 

It's glamor and perfection for a little while. One day, the news headline flashes "Itoshi Rin: Star Striker of Bastard München". That day, you see a new, unfamiliar expression on Sae's face. You don't have a word for it, but you can describe it as a peculiar mix of pride and disgust. But he's the only one you'll ever look at. The best in the world, to you forever. You think it's enough. 

Rin's debut in the global football scene is hailed as the birth of a genius and superstar. The same talk shows, magazines, and brands suddenly flock over to the younger Itoshi. And for the first time, since Sae has joined FC Barcha, the team walks away from the World Cup, defeated. The journalists sensationalized the entire match. The most circulated photo is none other than Rin mid-air about to send the final point into the goal. 

A week later, Itoshi Sae is no longer the most followed individual on Instagram. He's overtaken by Itoshi Rin, with over 600 million followers in a feat that has only been achieved by the platform's own page. Sae never seemed to care about details like that, since he rarely ever posts to his page. It's usually managed by a special team instead. But you find Sae looking at Rin's page, focused on a photo of Rin and a gorgeous woman pressed tightly to him,  a popular gravure idol now better known as Rin's girlfriend. You will never forget the scrutinizing look he gives you that evening.

The comments about your body and eating habits started crawling in. You don't realize it at first, thinking that of course, Sae would know more about gastronomy than you. He's been to so many more places than you and seen so many things. He's always careful with his food too, as an athlete. 

--

You kiss him back, eagerly guiding his hand toward the waistline of your panties. Sae rests his hands on your hip and stops.

"You've put on weight," he comments bluntly.

You're a bit confused and still a bit excited.

"M-Maybe. I'm getting my period soon, so I might be a bit bloated," you stammered. Seeing Sae's uninterested expression, you cross your arms to hide your body. "I'll run sometime this week, all good."

Sae ignores your suggestion and leans back against the headboard. "Did you take the tablets I got for you?"

You think back to the large capsules in the jar that you're supposed to take twice a day. "Oh, I forgot. I'll just take it tomorrow," you tell him, not wanting to travel all the way downstairs so late at night.

Sae groans and gets up. A moment later he returns with a glass of water. "Here, I went to get it for you. You have to take it on time every day."

He offers you three pills in his palm and you take one, except he gestures for you to take more. 

You look at him cautiously. "I think...I'm only supposed to take one."

A loud sigh escapes him. "But you keep forgetting, so just in case. It's fine. You won't overdose. They're like vitamins." 

"Okay." You swallow pill after pill after pill.

Sae smiles and presses a kiss on your forehead. "Good girl, let's go to bed now."

--  

A month after taking those pills, you notice your tastebuds drastically changing. Everything you eat tastes like ashes. For most meals, you try to swallow a few bites, but they go down like sandpaper. And then everything is heaved out not too long afterward.

Sae is with you each time, giving you encouragement and comforting you. He gives you water to rinse out your mouth. He tells you that you feel better now that extra waste is cleared. It's funny that the first time you threw up, you thought you were pregnant. And had the same thought the second time your period was late. 

Your period isn't late. It's just gone.

Your wardrobe also transforms. Sae brings back so many gifts often, filling your closet with designer outfits. You recognize a couple of the brands. You've seen the photoshoots of Rin and his girlfriend. He asks you if you want to try them on. You should have realized that Sae doesn't spend his time playing dress-up with you. 

"Do they have another size, Sae?" you ask nervously, trying to suck in your core as tight as possible.

You see him wrap his arms around you in the mirror, face resting in the crook of your neck. He shakes his head. "I can't take back something I bought already. Do you still like the styles?"

You give him a weak smile and concede. "Yea, they're pretty."

"Good. You look good in them," Sae whispers low in your ears. "Just have to lose a bit more. One day you'll fit them just perfectly."

Sae tells you how important it is to have a goal in mind and always focus on the big picture. And that he'll help you. Always.

--

More weeks pass by. You can't sleep at night anymore. Your feet are just always so cold, nothing you wear or do can warm it up at all. And you're so hungry, your sense of smell is so heightened that the air is palpable. The faintest trace of something has your mouth watering. After checking that the man next to you is sleeping soundly, you carefully tip-toe down the hall, avoiding the floorboard spots that will creak. It's a laborious feat when you also have a  sprained ankle.

In the darkness of 3 A.M., you find heaven and bliss. You grab at the frozen foods but pause at the thought of turning on the stove or oven. Sae will wake up. You spot a single ice cream popsicle left in the box. It's from the last time Rin visited. Expired, but it'll do. Sae won't pay attention to it. It won't hurt. You rip off the packaging savoringly the sweetness and cold tingles that seem to bring life back into your body. For the first time, something doesn't taste like chalk. Stay quiet, Sae will wake up. 

"What do you think you're doing?"

Your eyes flick toward the direction of the voice where a dark figure is leaning against the wall. Sae is up. Each step adds to the lump in your throat. The ghostly fridge light illuminates part of him gradually until the displeasure that's written across his face is revealed. Tears began to prickle in your eyes and stream down.

"S-Sae, I'm—I'm so hungry," you sobbed, curling into a ball. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Shhh," Sae coos, using his thumb to swipe your tear away. You're still apologizing between each breath when he wipes the edges of your mouth that are smeared with ice cream. "I know, baby, I know. I know it's hard."

Sae never raises his voice at you. He's always so gentle and extra affectionate in moments of your vulnerability. He reaches for the ice cream pop you're gripping in your hand and takes it from your grasp. He licks the melting trail and finishes the treat in a couple of bites. You don't dare to look at the wooden stick that is the reminder of your late-night exploit. You wish you ate a bit faster.

Sae crouches to your level and waves the little stick in front of your face. "You're not a child. Snooping around late at night for things you know you're not supposed to eat? It's bad for you. Sweets have to be earned."

"Yes, I know," you whisper, ashamed, eyes fixated on the square tiled floors.You hear fabric rustling and soon bright light shines in your eyes. You see the latest picture of Rin and his girlfriend at the beach.

"It's tough love, but take a good look at her." Sae scrolls through a couple of their latest photos. "Look how skinny and sexy she is. See that collarbone? You can drink out of that. Now look at you."

His comments shatter you and you begin to sob. He stands up and continues, "If I wanted just any slutty bitch, I would have ten in my arms right now."

You know he is right. Women fawn over him whenever the two of you go out. At events or just on the streets. Even without his reputation as a football icon, Sae is a gorgeous man. 

You don't have anything left after meeting Sae. Your family and friends are left behind. Your schooling and your job are all set aside. If he doesn't want you anymore, what are you even worth? You panic. "I know Sae. I'm sorry, I'll do better. I swear." 

You really mean it, truly. You feel terrible. 

Sae’s voice softens. "You know why I still choose you out of all of the girls?"

You shake your head.

"Look at me."

You don't move.

"Look at me, baby."

He lifts your chin and your eyes fix on him. His teal eyes seem to glow.

"Because you're a good girl," he says firmly. So assured like it's the most obvious truth in the world. "You're a good girl, yes?"

You nod shakily. 

"You have to look good, so I also look good, understand? Say something." 

You nod again, biting back the tears that are trying to spill. But you manage to choke out a quiet 'yes'.

"When I'm good, we're," he gestures at the space between the two of you, "good. So, don't ruin this for us."

He hands you the popsicle stick. "If you make a mistake, you have to fix it. Then you have to learn from it. It's the same thing as football. I know it's hard, but I also know you can do it. Prove me right."

You crawl up to your feet and prepare to make your way to the bathroom. Except Sae stops you. "Do it here. You made your mistake here."

You take a deep breath and open your mouth. You take two fingers and try to reach the back of your throat. It's the first time you try to induce your gag reflex by yourself. Usually, you just throw up on time or Sae helps. You look towards Sae. He motions at the popsicle stick. So, you try again. This time, the birchwood presses on your tongue.

"That's it," he encourages, "keep going."

You feel the lurch. It comes in dry, just a wave of nausea. You stick the stick a bit deeper in your throat. This time the reaction is a bit more visceral. A few violent gurgles later, acidic cream spills out and splatters onto the floor. You hurl a few more times, just pure bile and some unidentifiable remnants of something. Tears blur your vision and the inside of your nostrils burn. 

"Now clean it up and think about what you did wrong."

You scramble up and limp over to kitchen towels to wipe up your mess.

"I...shouldn't have snuck out at night to...eat ice cream," you confess out loud. "I shouldn't have...eaten..."

"Good job," Sae compliments you, taking the soiled towels from you to throw away and handing you a glass of water and a capsule. "Now you'll never forget. Lessons are only useful if you'll get something out of them. I can see the change in you already."

This is the warm Sae that you love. His smile brings so much joy to you, especially when he is smiling because of you. You sip on the water, expertly swallowing the pill, and nod eagerly. "I'll lose more, Sae. I'll look pretty for you."

Sae smiles and pokes your cheeks. "That's my girl. It's for your own good too, you'll look very pretty when you can fit in the dresses I buy for you."

You bury the thoughts about the sharp pain in your chest and dull ache in your ankles. All that matter is Sae and his love for you. You can lose everything and anything but that.

[ayrtonswnna]

ʚïɞ "why would you do that?"

pairing: chris sturniolo x olivia rubens (oc)

warnings: drug addiction, mentions of underage drug use, drinking, cursing, fighting and a whole lot of angst. protagonist with a name (aka as original character), sort of a happy ending and written by someone who doesn't have english as their first language, take it easy.

in witch chris' dealer knows him for too long and can tell exactly what's going on.

chris sturniolo x dealer!oc

"you either take that little boy out the damn backyard or i'll take care of him by myself. you choose"

i sigh out loud, ranging my chair back and rubbing my face in a nervous reaction. christopher, christopher is at the damn backyard. he's there for a motherfucking hour.

"did you hear me, miss?" my older brother speaks a little louder, throwing a pen into my table to make sure i'm here. "give him whatever the fuck he wants and tell him to fuck off. you're no mom, no therapist, no whatever."

my fingers reach for the pen before i throw it back. i'm no mom and no therapist, i'm just childhood friends with the said little boy. and i actually don't have what he wants, the type of shit chris started to come here for are the kind i don't order anymore, i don't let ryan come around with, i don't let the subject reach the table.

i fucked up already. this right here was my mistake and my mistake only, was my dad heritage and my fate. the apple can't fall so far from the tree and i can accept that. me and ryan, my brother, took over the spot for a few years now and chris was already into some stuff when i got here.

then we messed around and found out. simple blunts became white lines, then candies, then pills. then whatever we had in storage.

until chris was forced into rehab last year. i wanted to disappear, felt like the worst person ever. well, i can't scape my own life and the shit i lived down for, so i disappeared from chris' life.

fuck it. i'd be for the best and i thought it would work. he knew no one else with the shit, i dragged him into this mess and could put him out too.

the joke's on me, he's showing up every now and then, back from rehab and trying to get back to his old habits too. i'd be a bitch if i let him do that.

"olivia?" ryan insists. i am truly trying to avoid chris now. soon or later he'll leave, that's what i'm telling myself for days now. "fine- i'll do it my way"

"no, ryan. leave it. i'll work it out"

ryan hits and fights. usually i let him solve this kind of problem, it's easier and quicker. but not this time, not with chris.

so i stand up, put everything on my table together and take my last deep breath. i need it to be fast. i put my hoodie on and then walk towards the fucking back door. jesus christ.

winter is approaching and it is cold as fuck outside. it ain't a surprise when the blue eyes meet me and they're all red, along with the whole pale face standing right in front me.

"liv! why would you do that? i am standing here, waiting for a fucking show up and you didn't even bother!"

my heart races. he's not sober.

the voice takes time to leave his lips, his steps aren't so sure about what to do and i hate what i see in his gaze. god, i hate everything about this.

"what do you want, chris? you need to leave, you need to go home." i close the door behind me, resting my body against it and trying to contain the hurt look on my face.

this is the boy i grew up with, we shared beds, sippy cups, ate from the same plate, sat by each other's side in kindergarten. now i gotta ignore him and keep him away from the bullshit i put him on. life's fucking lame.

"what i want, olivia? i want you to stop being such a hypocrite and go back to who you are." he approaches, the eyes going dark, the hair in a fuzzy mess. "give me what i need and i'll leave. you can go back to forgetting i exist as soon as you drop my shit off."

i shake my head in denial. i knew he's hurt by our sudden distance, i am hurt too. but it's for the best, completely for the best.

"i couldn't ever forget you exist, chris." i sigh. "just... i just won't do what you want, 'm sorry. i have nothing on me right now"

he loses the focus for a bit. the fingers interlocks in between his hair and he shakes a little bit. fuck.

"liv, i know- i know you think you're doing what's right and saving me from the fucking mess you put me in in first place, but that's not what it is! i need to feel something and i need it soon! what can't you- fuck! why can't you just be the irresponsible little bitch you have always been and give me the fucking pills!?"

no words, not even a breath. it hits me like a knife, it cuts like his words were sharpened. there isn't much to say, because i know he's fucking right.

"olivia, you always knew what i needed, you gotta help me right now." his arms go up a little bit, like he's showing me how fucked he is. as if i couldn't see it before. "i need it all to go away, i just need to chill. you know what always works, you do!"

"yeah, going home, and-and talking to the boys, having a full meal, call mom, dad. that is what you need. did you try that?"

he's back to approaching. i'd be panicked if it was a client, i'd be calling ryan. but that's just chris.

"who's mom? who's dad? who in the fuck would really want a child like this?" he points at himself, getting closer and closer. i can see it even with my blurry vision. "i don't want to see no one, i want what you have and then i'll be gone. promise"

my eyes close shut for a slight second, until a freezing cold hand meet the side of my face and a forehead meets mine. fuck. truly, fuck.

"olivia, please. i am begging you for real. give me anything. any fucking thing. i've got the money, how much do you need?"

my hand touches his, then my eyes meets his. destroyed, completely destroyed.

"i am so, so sorry, chris. i have nothing for you." it sounds like a whisper. i take his hand off my face, squeezing it just enough for it to warm up a little bit. "how long are you here? back home?"

"a month or so." answers, symply. "i need them, liv. i am begging you, i'd get on my knees for them, i-"

"you really need to go, chris. i'm gonna call matt to come and pick you up, fine? just-"

i had my phone in my hand in a second and in the other i didn't anymore. he wonders for a minute about what he's going to do with it, than he touches his own face, scratches it, stumble around and i watch. i hated being me everyday after he got sent off. it felt like being on the devil's skin just by seeing him that way.

chris is not the type of guy that should be here begging to drug himself. chris deserves a whole beautiful bright future, he's so much more than this.

and that's why i can't fight when he grabs my phone, or go feral or too serious when he's here like this. i can't treat him any worse.

"whatever you want to give me, olivia. just for one use. no need for more."

i inhale deeply, feeling the cold air fill my lungs. fine. is that what he wants?

"c'mon, let's go" i grab his arm, making our way out the backyard and into the front door.

when dad started selling stuff when we were kids, he sort of divided the house. you can access the back of it through the front door, but you gotta go through another door that's usually locked. chris and i are not going where he wants to.

"why is... why are we inside? i don't- olivia, what the fuck are you doing?"

he doesn't stop me from guiding him through the corridor and then to my room. he looks around, go quiet for a few whole minutes and then let out a little sigh, hugging his own body as i walk around and take the blankets off the bed.

"you know what you need, chris? some rest." i say, as i approach and hold his arms, letting my hands go up and down on the tattooed skin. he only has a black t-shirt on. "lemme take care of you and then we find out what we'll do, ok? hum? put some warm clothes on and sleep a little bit, what do you think?"

his eyes water and his dry lips part, he says nothing else. i don't know what he's been taking or whatever, but he is not at the best of his consciousness.

"sometimes i... sometimes i tried to fuck up just to see you come and fix it, but- but you never did it anymore." he admits, as another wave of blame hits me hard.

yeah, i'm great at fucking up people's life and everything, but i take care of my people. i'd go to war for them and sometimes war is just denying injectable shit for my childhood friend.

"i'm fixing today." i didn't mean it to sound like a whisper, but it did.

i reach for the hoodie on my mess-chair, one that was chris' before being mine.

"why did you go away? i was waiting for you to visit, or call... or... or i don't know" he is losing his way, his pupils are so wide i almost can't see the blue.

the lips shaking, the hands the same and the skin even more and more pale. there's another situation when i call ryan, when i need somebody who went to med school at some point. my brother did.

so i leave him a text and keep my cool, i take a deep breath and guide chris onto the bed, so i can help him out with hoodie since he's taller.

"i was taking care of you, trust me."

he was waiting for me but not only me. he was waiting for me with a backpack and transparent bags, and them disposable syringes.

"i needed you to this before"

when we were younger, he had this episode when we started tasting some worst things and he had a bad trip. i did exactly what i'm doing right now, let him rest his head on my stomach, let my fingers run in between his hair and press his scalp just a little bit. him sitting on this exact same bed, me standing in between his legs. just like right now.

"i do trust you my life, actually" contrasts. he shouldn't.

"what did you take, chris? i need to know"

"it is going away, do you have it? heroine? not the pure one, that mix that gets hard to put into the syringe? that-fuck. that one."

i close my eyes for an instant. my fingers massage just in the back of his ears, i can feel him weighting a bit more into my body. he's still thinking i'll get him anything or whatever.

leaving rehab and going straight to injectables is fucked up.

"my bad, liv. i had a guy over" i didn't notice ryan getting in the room with some equipment in his hands and a worried look in his face.

he hated when we chris came around and hated being around him, this is always i bright example of what our childhood became. but he cares and would never deny help.

"it's fine- can we just... just try? he had them heroine injections, the mixed one."

ryan signs heavily, mad. i don't take that heavy shit but if i did, he'd react just like this.

"is he off conscience? i need your help."

"he's going on and off, i guess. hey, chris? let's rest a little bit, fine?"

he says something too low for me to understand, but does not let go of my waist and ryan is not good on patience. that's what he means with the help thing.

so i do my best to manage to be sat on the bed, chris' body falls into mine and I hate to say it. there's a wave of panic approaching.

"you chose to put him inside, liv. deal with it, ok? he'll be fine." my brother warns. he's not good on advices and shit, he's just real.

and that's just what i need sometimes.

"can you promise?" i whimper, not even noticing i had started crying while helping him flip chris a little better. i'm still sort of under him, and if i'm being honest, i don't want to leave.

he rests on his side and on my torso, my bed is a mess now and I hold his head so he won't fall, he'd be here just like a baby if it wasn't the damn heroine and whatever the fuck else he has in his veins now.

"stop crying, olivia. i'm not functioning if you panic. you know that" ryan snaps his tongue, holding chris' arm straight for a second before signing me to do it.

i silence myself, then. still trying my best. letting my fingers caress the cold skin in chris' face, fixing the hair sometimes and watching his tense expression up close. i am trying not to lose it, i really am.

god, how did we get down here. we were two little kids playing in kindergarten, and out of nothing, that's life, that's our life. chris is off conscience in my bed after staying in my porch for hours begging for heroine. life couldn't be more unfair.

"just be careful so he won't take this off or move too much, right?" ryan demands, grabbing the stuff he just used as i didn't even notice.

we used to do that a lot. dad was an old ass drug dealer with a blank addiction to whatever felt like dying so it'd be days of me holding his unconscious body while ryan prepared the needles and everything.

"i'll call justin or whatever, he ain't spending the night"

i won't contest, i actually agree and let him leave, staring at the wall while my fingers trace lines through chris' cheeks. i hate this, i hate feeling like there's no going back.

like the hours go by and they don't change a thing, nothing gets better. when chris moves a bit, i hold him a little tighter.

"hey." i whisper, my lips pressing against his face very softly as he seems to come back to reality.

missing us is just a regular feeling at this point. i'm close enough for these minutes before any of his brothers show up.

"sorry, okay?"

the rasp on his voice and the lack of rush, the way he just turn his body to the side and take a deep breath. no curiosity for the medicine, no glance up.

"i am too" i let my fingers play around his hair, brushing it all away from his face, then back to the sides and behind his ears. "i am so sorry, chris."

"don't be." his voice is as low as before. "i'll be ok. i'm here, hmm? guess that's the drug i need"

"great, that's a drug you can actually have" i thug him a little tighter, just until i can hear a little giggle. "i ain't leaving, ok? not again"

"me neither." murmurs. "i like it better here"

[sweetpee-ta]

Cherished Comfort

In the quiet dawn of Victors Village, the stillness of the morning was a stark contrast to the turmoil churning within me. The familiar ache clawed through my abdomen, the sharp reminder of normalcy in a world that had been anything but. As I peeled back the white sheets—a luxury that still felt foreign—I cursed under my breath at the sight of blood.

Peeta, still lost in the remnants of sleep, murmured from beside me, his voice laced with the haze of dreams. I slid out of bed, careful not to disturb him, and made my way to the bathroom. The cold tile was a harsh welcome as I doubled over, clutching the porcelain sink. The groan that escaped me was muffled by the sound of Peeta stirring in the next room.

"Katniss?" His voice was sleepy but edged with concern as he called out. The shifting of the quilt and a quiet thud told me he'd encountered the unexpected stain.

"In here, Peeta," I managed to say, my voice tight with pain.

The sound of him attaching his prosthetic was swift, a testament to his ever-present readiness to aid me. He appeared in the bathroom doorway, worry etching his features. "Katniss, where are you hurt?"

I shook my head as he fumbled with the first aid kit he grabbed from the mirror cabinet. "Peeta, that's not going to help," I said softly, the embarrassment creeping up my neck.

His brow furrowed in confusion. "I... okay. Just tell me what you need."

I hesitated, the words catching in my throat. It was absurd how such a natural process could bring so much discomfort, both physical and emotional. "Peeta, I'm on my monthly period," I finally confessed, the words almost a whisper. "I'm fine, really. I'll clean the sheets in a bit." Even as I said it, I knew there was no need to beat around the bush; he would have learned about this in school, just like I did. "I just need to shower quickly."

His cheeks flushed a soft pink, but his concern didn’t waver. "Of course. But I'll take care of the sheets. Don't worry about it," he said quickly, already moving out of the bathroom to strip the bed. "What else do you need, baby?" Recently, Peeta had started peppering his speech with endearments, a new habit since we began sharing a bed and exchanging chaste kisses after he returned to Twelve. Each time he called me something tender, it sent a warm flush through me, making me blush despite the frequency of his affectionate words. It was a sweet addition to our slowly unfolding intimacy.

"Can you get me some pain relief pills from the downstairs cabinet? And maybe something to eat with it? Nothing big," I requested softly. Holding the sheets, Peeta returned to the bathroom and leaned in close, his baby blue's radiating concern and affection. I found myself lost in their depths, so full of love and care.

"Of course," he murmured. He leaned in to kiss my cheek gently, his touch a soothing balm.

Once he left, I stepped into the shower, letting the hot water cascade over my aching body. When I returned to the bedroom, the sight of fresh sheets and the faint smell of Peeta on his pillow were unexpectedly comforting as I lay down.

He came back with a tray laden with more food than I had asked for: a tall glass of orange juice, thickly sliced bacon, scrambled eggs, and fluffy pancakes stuffed with both blueberries and chocolate chips, drenched in maple syrup and butter. Just the way I liked it. The care he put into every detail was visible, his eyes searching mine for approval or perhaps forgiveness for assuming he could fix everything with food.

"Thank you so much, Peeta. You didn't have to do all this," I said, overwhelmed by his kindness.

"It's the least I could do. I just want to take care of you," he replied, his smile gentle and reassuring. He extended his hand, offering me the pain medication along with the glass of orange juice. I accepted them gratefully.

His presence, the meal, and his unwavering care made the pain recede, if only for a moment. "Help me eat some of this, please?" I asked, returning his smile.

"If you insist," he chuckled, reaching for the bacon and joining me in a quiet breakfast that felt like the most natural thing in the world. Despite the chaos that had once threatened to consume us, this simple domestic scene was a poignant reminder of our survival and the new life we were building together.

As he sat beside me, I couldn't help but think that no matter the trials, having Peeta by my side made everything bearable. He was my anchor, my unexpected gift in a world that had taken so much. I knew then that I would spend every day trying to deserve the love he so freely gave.

[withered--s0uls]

Nuzi Hellspawns (this took may more time and effort than I wanted it too sobs)

More info on the twins, Scrapped child outfit for Orita & the AO3 comment(er) who gave me the name ideas (bc I'm bad at names lol) under the cut 💕

Orita:

N calls her his "sweet Violet" due to the color of her optics being a light purple

Personality wise she mostly takes after N, however she did inherited Uzis unhingedness so she has her moments

She got Uzi's skill in robotics, engineering and hacking

Her and Uzi help each other with their projects once Orita is old enough to help Uzi (Uzi always helped her daughter when asked ofc)

Once the twins switch to their Teen/Adult bodies, she starts to basically upgrade herself by custom making DD forearms so she looks more like N too

The above point worries N a little because she actually gave herself weapons in them -- N always refused to have her look at his weaponry, having a strict "no weapons around the kids unless it's absolutely necessary" rule.

Because of the above rule, Orita went to V instead because V doesn't mind her looking at her weapons. She thinks it's cool that she's interested in them

Her childhood body used to be Uzi's when she was a kid (same with her Pill Baby body lol)

She placed a sticker of the DD logo on her cores cover as a child to kind of honor her Dad, she loves him dearly <3

N did her hairstyle :3

She probably picked up the phrase "Biscuit" from her dad

Scrapped outfit:

Rexim

He takes more after Uzi with his personality so he's more angsty

He continues the catch phrase "Bite Me" from his mother and Grandmother

He inherited Ns love for animals & cute things and one might catch his angsty persona slip when it comes to that

He has a bad habit of picking fights or getting involved in them

This resulted in his main camera being severely damaged in one confrontation, resulting in him primarily using the Headband optics as camera

Said headband was made Uzi (both of the twins headbands were) because the twins code included Ns "real eyes" / headband optics, which resulted in them having issues with their sense of orientation and depth perception without said optics. They aren't nearly as advanced as their dads when it comes to features and accuracy, but they get the job done

He kinda goes through a "my dad is boring" phase at one point, but that's swiftly put to an end when he actually sees N in action

He had severe problems balancing using WD legs, seemingly not having enough footing to do so. So Uzi made him custom ones based on Ns lower legs so that their son has more surface to stand on and distruste his weight on

The WD symbol on his cores covering ends up scratched up and with chipped paint as he gets older, due to him getting into fights a lot

Both Twins

Both kids inherited the downsides that come with being a DD/Solver user - meaning they can't go out in the sun, have issues overheating and do need to feed on oil (these issues don't start until they are transferred to their first functional bodies. As babies they're fine)

This probably means Uzi went out of her way to improve their internal cooling system a bit

Other

Seeing as Oritas childhood body is that of Uzi, I am debating on if I make Thad child-free and he offered them his for Rexim

This idea comes from me hc N and Thad as having a brotherly bond & feeling like the CoolKids Trio would still be very close later on. Thad is practically the twins uncle :) (he spoils them lol)

Thank you to this AO3 user for the name ideas <3

When I looked up the two guns in question I found out Orita also is a brand for stuff like dish soap and laundry detergent & Rexim is also a candy brand lmao

[ultravioletqueen]

Hace mucho tiempo que escucho canciones del musical de heathers y mi favorita de todas es "i say no" ya que es cuando verónica reconoce que no hay nada que hacer con jd,reconoce que el no va a cambiar y que no vale la pena estar con alguien que la usa como excusa para hacer cosas malas,simplemente me encantan estas escenas en las que los personajes confrontan a sus parejas abusivas y reconocen que merecen algo mejor.

Ahora últimamente he vuelto a consumir contenido de she-ra y las princesas del poder y me doy cuenta de que ODIO EL CATRADORA Y TODO LO QUE TENGA QUE VER CON CATRA.

¿En que se relaciona esto con la canción de heathers i say no? Simple,esta canción es el ejemplo perfecto de como pudieron manejar la "relación" de catra y adora al final,catra es irredimible y adora merecía decirle sus verdades en la cara,solo dejaré la letra algo modificada para este escenario ideal que tengo de adora dejando a catra en el polvo por todo lo que le ha hecho pasar,no planeo traducir la letra al español porque sino sonaría muy raro.

Para esto me inspire en los post de @spop-romanticizes-abuse y @anti-catradora-collection

I have been listening to songs from the Heathers musical for a long time and my favorite of all is "I Say No" since it is when Veronica recognizes that there is nothing to do with JD, she recognizes that he is not going to change and that he is not worth being around with someone who uses her as an excuse to do bad things, I just love these scenes where the characters confront their abusive partners and recognize that they deserve better.

Now lately I've been consuming She-Ra and the Princesses of Power content again and I realize that I HATE CATRAdora AND EVERYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH CATRA.

How does this relate to Heathers' song I Say No? Simple, this song is the perfect example of how they were able to handle Catra and Adora's "relationship" in the end, Catra is irredeemable and Adora deserved to tell her truths to her face, I will only leave the lyrics somewhat modified for this ideal scenario that I have for Adora Leaving Catra in the dust for everything she's put her through, I don't plan to translate the lyrics into Spanish because otherwise it would sound very strange.

I was inspired by the posts of @spop-romanticizes-abuse and @anti-catradora-collection

(Adora)

"You are a drug

You are a poison pill

I’ve got to kick this habit now

Or else I never will

I hated the rush

When you would hold me close

And you will not be satisfied

Until I overdose

This is it

Hit the brake

I am finally awake

Let me be

Let me go

You need help

I can’t provide

I am not qualified

This troubled teen is getting clean

I say no"

(Catra)

"Adora, who else is gonna be-"

(Adora)

"No, no, no, no!

Don’t say a word

You speak and I cave in

You’ll twist the truth again

And drill deep down beneath my skin

You said you’d change

And I believed in you

But you’re still using me to justify the harm you do

This is it

Hit the brake

Call it all my mistake

Long as you let me go

You need help

I can’t provide

I’m not your friend

You’re not mine

It’s not too late

I’m getting straight

I say no!

Blame your childhood, blame shadow weaber

Blame the life you never had

But hurting people? That’s your choice, nobody to blame

But I believe that love will win

And hate will earn you nothing in the end

This is the end!"

(Catra,pulling out her claws)

"But I love you!"

(Adora)

"You-

This is it!

I won’t cry

Starting now, I will try

To pay back

All the karma you owe!

Start again

Somewhere new

Far from monsters like you

So goodbye

'Cause now I'm

Saying no!

Just in time!

I say no!

Somehow I’m saying no!

Just say no!

I say no!

No!"